A world of my own
by Pink Panda
Summary: Zoot returns and begins to stalk Ebony unkown to the mallrats, gradually she spirals into depression. (chapter 2 onwards now reformatted)
1. Default Chapter

It is the last episode of season four. With the help of Mega the Technos have been over thrown and Ram is trapped in VR, Taisan has been 'rescued'. Jay and Ebony had what was almost a break up, but Zoot distracted her before things were decided. Ebony is in a room in the hotel, Zoot has appeared to her and told her his prophecy has been fulfilled .  
Chapter 1  
  
"And now comes the chaos" His words said with such confidence and force echoed in my mind. It was impossible, he was dead. And yet he stood in front of me, his face covered in red war paint, filled with an expression unique to him, triumph, anger and hatred mingled together. I searched for words to say and my mouth moved but no words came out. For the first time in a long time I was truly scared, deeply, totally, absolutely terrified. I began to step back, step by step, each taking me further from him. Intent on him and getting away from him I stepped backwards hitting the doorframe, my neck snapped forwards and I broke my gaze. In that instant, like a ghost, he just seemed to fade away into the shadows, just like he had come, he wasn't there anymore, he was gone. 


	2. Chapter 2

Writers note: My apologies about the mess of the formatting when I first posted this, my computer was playing, I hope it's readable now  
  
Chapter 2  
  
I stood there, my head aching from the blow but I wasn't thinking about that. He was gone, like the figure out of my dream, he was gone, as improbable as it seemed, he had been there and now he was gone.  
  
Suddenly out in the corridor I heard footsteps and Siva calling me, ever since we had talked we had become much more like the sisters we never were before. Stumbling out into the corridor I met Siva  
  
"Ebony, I've been looking for you, I saw you and Jay." she began but I never gave her chance to finish, the hairs on the back of my neck we standing on end and I knew we had to get everyone out now before Zoot did something terrible.  
  
"Fine" I said trying to push her along in front of me as I walked down the corridor. "Ebony what's wrong?" asked Siva obviously confused by my strange behavior, I glanced about looking, constantly checking for danger.  
  
"We have to get out of here now" I told her  
  
"Why?" asked Siva  
  
As she said it we entered the main foyer where the recent battle had taken place, it was still filled with the mixed war band of Ecos, Mall Rats and city kids. Above the rest of the crowd I could see Jay, he turned and looked at me concerned but I didn't stop, there wasn't time. I made my way over to the closest group; it consisted of Amber, Pride and Salene  
  
"Salene, Amber" I said as I approached them, I spoke with urgency, we had to get out fast, the feeling of wrongness was worse and to cap it all I had a headache and I felt dizzy from hitting my head "We need to get everyone out" I told them  
  
"Why?" asked Salene "Ebony, all the Technos are dealt with, the dangers over" "Zoot's back" I told her simply, there was no other way to tell them.  
  
"Zoot?" repeated Amber "He's dead, I was at his funeral" she told me as if I was stupid  
  
"He's not," I said feeling really dizzy "I've seen him, I've spoken to him"  
  
"That's impossible" Salene said but I could hear the uncertainty and fear in her voice. I really didn't feel well, I could feel myself swaying gently but I couldn't stop myself  
  
"He's alive and back and." my sentence faltered and that was when the dizziness overtook me.  
  
Jay  
  
I saw as soon as she came in the room something was wrong. She had lost her usual veneer of coolness and calmness and she was constantly glancing about her as if she thought something was going to attack her. With Siva in tow she went up to Pride, Salene and Amber, she began talking to them and I could see she was getting frustrated and she was scared, Ebony scared? It took a lot to scare Ebony; concerned I began to push through the crowd towards where the group was standing. As I watched Ebony began to sway gently on the spot and then as if she had just fallen asleep on the spot she closed her eyes and fell to the floor.  
  
"Ebony!" I yelled the word tearing out of my throat, desperately I fought to get through the crowd but everyone seemed to be in my way. Finally I made it out of the crowd and into the circle of people surrounding Ebony's limp body. Ebony lay on the floor looking like a giant rag doll with Patch bent over her. I knelt opposite him next to her reaching out my hand to stroke her braids, which were cascading over the floor like a halo around her head.  
  
"What's wrong with her?" I asked Patch desperate to know  
  
"Its just a concussion" he stammered "She'll be fine she just needs to rest"  
  
"The Zoot thing was just the concussion right Patch?" asked Salene from somewhere in the circle of people, her voice scared  
  
"I think so," said Patch stammering because everyone was watching him  
  
"I'll take her back then" I said firmly  
  
Picking up Ebony's flimsy body in my arms and resting her head against my chest, I began to carry her back to the hotel. Behind me I heard Salene giving orders for the hotel to be searched, to check Ebony had been seeing things, and for everyone else to return to the Mall. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Ebony  
  
When I woke up I was laying in the double bed in the room Jay and I shared, groaning I turned over and saw Siva sat next to me staring into space. Somewhere in the background I heard muffled noises that sounded like shouting and banging.  
  
"Siva" I groaned, my head throbbing as I said it, she jumped and turned towards me "What happened?" I moaned  
  
She lifted a glass of water to my lips and as I drank it she told me "You banged your head" the drink made me feel a lot better and I sat up in bed, she handed me the glass with the remaining water in and I sipped it as we talked. Suddenly I remembered everything, the fight with the Technos, my fight with Jay and Zoot, Zoot? I glanced about the room to check Zoot wasn't standing in the corner or something.  
  
"He's in another room," Siva told me  
  
"Who?" I said startled, Zoot was in another room?  
  
"Jay," she told me  
  
"Oh, yeh" I said sighing with relief, she was talking about Jay  
  
"Salene wouldn't let him sit with you," she told me "she said after you argued." the sentence trailed off  
  
"How long have I been out?" I asked her  
  
"Over a day" she told me "Patch said you needed the rest"  
  
I nodded, suddenly the muffled noise in the background increased I turned my head to try and hear it properly  
  
"What's that noise?" I asked Siva  
  
"Oh that" she said as if just noticing it "That's just the city kids"  
  
"City kids?" I said, as Siva began to explain I stopped her "Not now" I told her "My head still hurts" I sat back and thought for a minute, now I knew Zoot wasn't anywhere in the near vicinity because Siva would have mentioned him I decided my next priority was Jay, the world would probably make a lot more sense and look a lot better once I had spoken to him.  
  
"Siva, could you find Jay please" I asked, I finished the glass of water and put it down on the table, my head felt a lot clearer.  
  
She looked a bit guilty and confused, too much for such a simple request "Umm well, Patch said we weren't to leave you alone." her voice trailed off nervously, very unlike my sister.  
  
"Why?" I demanded  
  
Her eyes refused to meet mine as she said, "Because, you might start thinking you saw Zoot again"  
  
I was about to protest I had seen Zoot when I realized they obviously thought I thought I saw him because I had hit my head, they didn't know I saw him before I hit my head. I decided to play along; if I said I had seen him they would just think I was ill.  
  
"Siva" I said in my most matter of fact voice "I'll be alone for a few minutes, what harm can it do?"  
  
She sighed and got up, as she opened the door the noise increased, what had the Mall rats done this time?  
  
When she had gone I sat thinking for a moment trying to make sense of it all. Suddenly a strange breeze started and began to play around my braids a strange voice accompanied it calling out in a whisper "Ebony, Ebony, can you hear the chaos?" my breath caught in my throat, he was back. As I watched frozen in terror I saw Zoot's ghostly face appear in the mirror on the opposite wall, He seemed to mock me  
  
"No" I whispered "No" and then I got angry, with myself for seeing him, and for him for being there. I picked up the glass I had put on my table earlier and with all my strength and anger I flung it at the mirror as hard as I could. It hurtled towards the mirror and as both smashed into a thousand pieces they seemed to hang in the air for a second or two before falling to the floor. The wind and the voice went as the image shattered into a thousand pieces. As I sat there in stunned silence Jay and Siva burst through the door.  
  
"Ebony, what is it?" asked Jay staring in horror at the smashed mirror, I smiled weakly, they wouldn't believe me if I told them I had seen Zoot. Quickly I made up some weak excuse about holding the glass as I tried to get out of bed and slipping, I don't think either really believed me but it was all I was offering.  
  
Siva seemed to realize me and Jay wanted sometime alone, she disappeared quickly closing the door behind her. When she had gone Jay stood by the side of our bed nervously, the last conversation we had was never really finished and this brought tension to the air. Eventually he perched on the side of the bed and tried to hold my hand, I pulled it away, he was the one who was uncertain about us, and, much as I wanted him back, I was going to let him know it. He bent his head as if to acknowledge he was guilty then looked up at me  
  
"I'm sorry Ebony" he told me "I'm sorry I hurt you, I didn't mean to" he took my hand again and I let him, I knew I shouldn't give in that easily, but I was melting, I just wanted him to kiss it better "I saw you lying there and" his voice broke, concerned I stroked the side of his face "I want you" he whispered  
  
"Not Amber" I asked, he looked hurt  
  
"Not Amber" he told me "She wants Bray and I want you" Usually I would have freaked at the suggestion that if I or Bray didn't exist Jay and Amber could be together but Jay was so close to me and I could see deep into his eyes, full of love and compassion, for me, I let it pass. Gently he lent in and kissed me, softly, fully, I responded with the same tenderness, this was what I wanted more than anything, me and Jay, in a world of our own.  
  
He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead on mine "I love you" he whispered  
  
"And I love you too" I whispered back, we kissed again with the same feelings and tenderness but with more passion, finally Jay broke the kiss  
  
"Salene told me I wasn't to wear you out," he told me  
  
Staring into his eyes I asked mischievously, "What were you planning to do?"  
  
In a voice that sent shivers down my spine he whispered, "I have plans" we kissed again more passionately. Eventually I broke the kiss.  
  
"I have to get up now," I told him. He stole a final kiss and with a sighed "Fine" he moved to let me get up.  
  
As I freshened up he lay back on the bed and explained what had happened whilst I had been out. Basically the Mall Rats had told the city, via City net, that that for the time being they and Mega would run the city and the games would be shut down. The kids hadn't liked this and were outside the Mall defenses demanding the Technos be reinstated with Mega in charge and no Mall Rat influences and the games be brought back on line. At least they weren't demanding Ram I thought, it showed one thing had improved.  
  
Finally I felt ready to face the rest of the tribe; I walked along quite slowly with Jay's arm around my waist to support me. We went to the café where I could sit in the center of things. Dee and Patch were sat on a sofa in the corner with Patch's arm nervously around Dee. On a table near us Trudy and Amber were sat talking quietly and feeding Brady and Baby Bray. Outside the café I could see Pride and Salene with their arms wrapped around each other with Mega next to them watching the city kids. On another table near us Siva sat in sullen silence next to Lex who was chatting animatedly to Taisan, barely acknowledging Siva's presence.  
  
Salene and Pride wandered into the café with Mega beside them  
  
"Ebony" Salene said brightly when she saw me with her usual motherly attitude "Are you ok now?" she asked  
  
"You had us worried there for a minute" Pride put in. Warning signals went off in my brain, they were talking about Zoot, I had to change the subject quickly  
  
"You know me" I said sarcastically "I'm not that easy to get rid of" Jays arms tightened around me warning me to be nice to the Mall Rats "So, what are you gonna do about our uninvited guests?" I asked. Hearing the topic being brought up everyone came in a bit closer around where Jay and I were sitting with Jays arms around me, they obviously wanted to know as much as me.  
  
"We should let them have what they want" put in Lex, typical Lex comment, he probably had some kind of dodgy deal on the go he need the Technos for.  
  
"Give them the game back?" said Salene  
  
"Maybe" said Lex with a shrug  
  
"Lex you've seen what those games do to people" said Pride as usual getting annoyed with Lex  
  
"You know this thing we've been trying to set up, democracy" said Lex sarcastically "Its where the Majority rules, and its seems to me the majority rules here, they want the game"  
  
"We understand that" put in Salene "But are they fit to decide?"  
  
"They're always gonna choose the Technos" said Lex "If you hadn't noticed they gave them electricity"  
  
"Well, we can hold out for a week" said Amber calmingly, typical, perfect Amber "Lets see what other options present themselves"  
  
Everyone agreed with perfect Amber, I saw Jay looking at her and smiling, that smile. I quietly fumed, in our room I had been prepared to ignore the attraction between Jay and Amber, I had wanted him back so much, but now when I saw him smiling at her I was furious.  
  
"Jay" I said getting his attention back "Will you help me back to our room" I put plenty of emphasis on 'our'. After saying bye to the Mall Rats Jay helped me back to the room and helped me into bed, kissing me he said  
  
"Get some rest, I won't wake you when I come to bed" 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
I tried to sleep for the next few hours but I lay there torturing myself about Amber, it wasn't that I didn't trust Jay, but it was Amber. Finally I fell asleep. About an hour after that Jay came to bed, I resurfaced groggily "Jay?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me" he told me as he climbed into bed next to me "Go back to sleep" he said.  
  
Turning on my side I felt him move behind me and wrap his arms around my waist, he kissed my neck then lay down to sleep, safe and protected in his arms I soon fell asleep.  
  
When I woke in the early hours of the morning I didn't know what had woken me but the hairs on the back of my neck were on end and there was a strange feeling running up and down my spine. Jay had rolled over onto his back and I suddenly felt very vulnerable. Cautiously I climbed out of the bed, as I stood a strange wind wrapped itself around me bringing a voice I knew too well with it.  
  
"Ebony, Ebony, come back to me" the voice whispered. Scared but defiant I rotated slowly looking for him, I knew he would show himself, it was just when and where. As I turned and looked out of the door I saw him. Half in the shadows his face was eerily lit and it looked like his face was partly made of shadow.  
  
"Ebony" he said stretching out his hand into the light "Come back to me, rule with me again" I stepped away from his hand but as I stepped backwards he stepped forwards into the light "Ebony" he said beckoning to me. I held out a finger as if to ward off an evil influence.  
  
"Keep away from me" I told him my voice shaking "Keep away from me" I repeated my voice stronger "I don't want anything to do with you"  
  
At the sound of my voice Jay began to stir and as he woke Zoot melted back into the shadows as I watched. I was shaking with anger and frustration and fear.  
  
"Ebony" Jay groaned when he rolled over and saw me. I didn't pay him any attention; my eyes were fixated on the shadows Zoot had disappeared into.  
  
Jay moved behind me and put his hands around my waist  
  
"Why are you shaking?" he whispered into my ear kissing it as he said it I shrugged him off but he continued to stand behind me his hands resting lightly on my hips  
  
"What is it that's so interesting out there?" he asked  
  
It was a fair question, which is why the way I reacted was so bad. Something inside me just snapped, I don't know why but suddenly all the anger and frustration I had over Zoot and Amber zoned in on Jay, it was unfair, I know, but I needed someone to take my rage and helplessness out on.  
  
"What is it to you?" I screamed at him, he was taken aback by the violence of my answer but I didn't back off there was rage simmering in my heart  
  
"Ebony" he said holding out his hand as if to hold me back  
  
"I'm fine" I screamed at the world in general "Just fine" grabbing a pretty trinket box on my table I flung it on the floor and stamped on it, grinding it throwing all my anger into destroying it, its contents which were several finely beaded necklaces burst and the beads spread across the floor. Jay watched me in horror. Suddenly all the rage drained out of me as I saw what I had done to the little box, it was crushed and shapeless. I sat back down on the bed and began sobbing. Jay, his face concerned, sat next to me and put his arm around me  
  
"Ebony, what's wrong?" he asked  
  
"I'm so sorry Jay," I sobbed burying my face in his chest "So sorry, I was mad at him, not you" my voice trailed off into sobbing  
  
"Who were you mad at?" he asked  
  
"Zoot" I told him "Zoot, he's following me" As soon as I said Zoot I knew something was wrong, he began to speak to me as if I were a child  
  
"Yes Ebony, Zoot, but he cant get you now, he cant hurt you, its gonna be ok"  
  
I realized he thought I was still seeing things from hitting my head, he didn't believe me at all. As soon I realized this I stopped sobbing and lay back down on my bed, Jay lay back down next to me and soon fell asleep but I lay awake the rest of the night watching the shadows to see whether Zoot would return. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
When Jay finally woke the next morning he stretched and rolled over to face me. In a way I was disappointed he had woken, I was enjoying watching him sleep, he looked so peaceful asleep but then I think everyone looks peaceful when they're asleep, except for a few people, unfortunately I think I've known most of the people who don't.  
  
"You ok?" he asked tenderly stroking the side of my face with the back of his hand  
  
"Fine" I said catching hold of his hand and using it to pull him over to me so I could kiss him. Several minutes later Jay pulled away suggesting we went to breakfast.  
  
Later that day I was sat in the café reading a magazine, I had read it before but I didn't have anything better to do. As I sat there Salene came into the café, she looked around and then came to sit next to me. I sighed and closed the magazine, she had a look on her face that tried to tell me she wasn't there for anything specific she just wanted a friendly chat, it didn't work, she was obviously there for a reason.  
  
"What do you want?" I asked keeping my thumb in the magazine; trying to make it obvious I wanted to be left alone.  
  
"Are you ok now?" she asked in a friendly motherly tone. Then I knew, Jay had told her what I had said about Zoot.  
  
"I can't believe he told you" I said, her face took on an innocent look "Who told me what?" She asked innocently  
  
"Don't play cute with me." I hissed my voice dripping with venom, someone was about to get it, and she was in firing range. "You think I've lost it don't you" I said beginning to raise my voice.  
  
She dropped the act.  
  
"Ebony we're concerned about you" she said  
  
"Right, yeah" I said sarcastically "You Mall Rats are so concerned about me, since when?"  
  
Salene stood up angrily "Since you started helping us and decided to come and live with us," she yelled  
  
"Yeah right" I yelled back standing up so I could look her in the face "Until you need a scape goat"  
  
"Well" yelled Salene in reply "I don't think we've ever been wrong about you betraying us before, Mrs. Ram"  
  
"For your concern" I said snidely "I just had a bad dream, if you hadn't noticed its bin a kind of stressful week, what with helping all you ungrateful little rodents and risking my neck and everything"  
  
"I think you count as a rodent yourself Ebony" yelled Salene "And an ungrateful one at that"  
  
"Squeak" I said sarcastically and stalked off leaving Salene behind me gently simmering. Unfortunately for Jay I walked into him as I rounded the next corner, and I was still fuming about him telling Salene what I said, so I didn't hesitate to let go at him straight away.  
  
"What the hell do you think your doing telling Salene I'm losing it?" I yelled in his face as soon as I saw him.  
  
"I said you weren't well," said Jay holding out his hands to calm me.  
  
"Well, for your information, it was just a bad dream, I am perfectly fine"  
  
At this moment, just to complete the scene, Amber walked around the corner  
  
"Whoa" she said, "I think winter has arrived" and backed back around the corner, I say Jay's eyes follow her.  
  
"Typical" I muttered and walked past him back to our room.  
  
Later when I had calmed down he came and apologized to me, grudgingly I gave in and we ended up making love.  
  
For the next few days my life carried on what as what seemed to pass as normal. Zoot did not return and I began to wonder whether he had just been my imagination, but deep in my heart I knew really he was alive. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
Three days after my argument with Salene she called a tribe meeting. When everyone was loosely assembled around the café she began. "Mega has a suggestion which may help us"  
  
"Great, another brainwave from the Technos" muttered Lex  
  
"Lex just for once could we start a meeting without you winging" snapped Amber  
  
"Fine" muttered Lex exhibiting his usual air of brooding annoyance "Don't listen to me or my opinions"  
  
"Go on Mega" encouraged Jay  
  
Mega stepped forward with his usual air of coolness still intact. When I had met Jay I had thought he was cool headed, but Mega, he was so cool headed he was inhuman, I didn't trust him an inch.  
  
"I suggest you put me in charge of the Technos" he said, his voice perfectly calm  
  
"You have got to be kidding," shouted Lex standing up agressivly  
  
"Lex will you please hear him out" begged Amber  
  
Lex sighed and sat back down folding his arms, Amber nodded at Mega to continue, and despite the interruption his voice didn't wobble.  
  
"This would satisfy the Virts and from there I could gradually close down the games and the Technos from inside"  
  
"Right" said Lex "yeah, we get rid of his old boss and put him in charge, great plan"  
  
"Lex is right, for once" I said, "This sounds like a set up"  
  
"Well I trust Mega" Amber said, "he could have destroyed us, he didn't"  
  
Salene put her hands up as a fierce argument started up "Lets just vote on it" she said "All those in favor" Everyone except me, Lex, Siva and May put their hands up.  
  
"Right, that's settled then" said Salene "Anything else?"  
  
Trudy stood up "I want you to know, as soon as the mall is reopened me and Brady are leaving with the Ecos"  
  
Hawk put his arm around her, "We need to start rebuilding our home"  
  
I wondered why Amber was not mentioned "What about you Amber?" asked Pride echoing my thoughts  
  
"I'm staying here," she said, "At least until Bray comes back, this is where he will come when he returns" she smiled and her eyes drifted over to Jay, I saw the eye contact between them and the look on his face, part hopeful, part happy and part guilty, and then I knew, somehow I knew. I couldn't stay there any longer watching them, I had to leave. I stood up and stalked out, I felt the eyes following me but I wasn't bothered, all I wanted to do was go somewhere and cry like a little girl. She had won, as usual she had won.  
  
There was no way I could safely leave the mall so I climbed the steps up to the roof. Standing there I could see the city spread below me. The wind whipped around me, sending my braids flying, not the strange unnatural winds of Zoot but a natural wind that made me stronger, that carried me away on it surrounding me, freeing me. I stood like that for a while, letting the winds console me and harden my heart.  
  
Finally I heard footsteps on the stairs behind me. I knew who it was so I didn't bother turning around  
  
"What happened?" I asked my voice frosty  
  
"Ebony." he said his voice pleading, but it didn't work, I had hardened my heart against him. "What happened?" I asked again. He didn't answer so I turned around and looked into his eyes, they were full of sorrow and regret and pleading, but it was over and didn't let myself care anymore; I had hardened myself against him.  
  
"Tell me Jay," I said my voice icy "What happened between you and Amber?" I said it slowly to let every word sink in.  
  
He hung his head "We kissed" he whispered "Once" he said trying to make it better "A couple of days ago"  
  
"Thank you Jay," I said  
  
"Ebony." he caught hold of my arm. I looked at his hand and then daggers at him  
  
"Don't. Touch. Me." I said each word a separate dagger "Its over Jay, you knew how it was" I walked off the roof leaving him standing there. As I descended the steps I turned back and looked at him, he was standing in the middle of the roof, a look of desolation on his face but I didn't care, I wouldn't let myself care. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
I walked back to the café, most of the Mall rats were still there, I walked up to Salene and said calmly "I need a new room" as I said it the Mall rats fell silent.  
  
"Yeah, sure" she said uncertainly "End of the second hall. Umm, Ebony are you ok?"  
  
"I Am Fine" I said pronouncing each syllable "Why shouldn't I be?" I asked and then walked out of the room, I heard the silence continue as walked off but I didn't care anymore.  
  
I went and collected my things from Jays room, I didn't let myself look around I just picked up my things and left. Finally I got to my new room, it was like all the other rooms in the Mall, a bed and no windows, just another room. I dumped my things in the corner and locked the door. Sitting on my bed I finally let myself cry. Sobbing madly, rocking backwards and forwards, embracing my pain. For half an hour it flooded out of me, Jay was gone, and it hurt so much.  
  
Finally I stopped myself crying and promised myself that would be the last time I cried for Jay, it was over and as usual Amber had won.  
  
Later that afternoon someone knocked tenitively on my door.  
  
"Who is it?" I called  
  
"Siva" came back the answer, carefully I opened the door so I could see out, Siva was stood there looking worried  
  
"Are you ok?" she asked  
  
"I'm fine" I said, "Why does everyone keeping asking that?" I said tiredly "look I'm busy can you come back some other time?" As I began to close the door she stopped it with her foot  
  
"Do you know he's getting drunk in the café?" she said  
  
"Who?" I asked innocently but I knew exactly who she meant  
  
"Jay" she said "He's already had seven whisky shots" I smiled coldly  
  
"Well he probably needs it to be with that wh0re" I said  
  
"Who?" she asked puzzled  
  
"You mean he hasn't told you?" I asked, she shook her head "Well, he probably needs the extra courage to even tell you" I said coldly and shut the door.  
  
I turned and slumped against the door trying to ignore what she had just told me, tried to quash the vain hope inside me, I had poured my pain out of myself and now that room echoed with it, using the echoes of my pain I quashed the hope, it was over. Everyone had to face that. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Several hours later I lay in my bed trying to sleep, but I couldn't. The absence of Jay's presence beside me was like a gaping hole. Suddenly I heard knocking on my door, I sat up wrapping the sheet around me even though whoever it was couldn't see me and I was fully clothed  
  
"Who is it?" I called out in trepidation; no answer came back except a solitary knock. Shock permeated my system, I knew that knock, and I knew that code, too well. I tried to tell myself it was a coincidence, it had to be, but when I opened the door and saw those milky eyes staring back at me I knew it wasn't, it was him.  
  
As soon as I opened the door he pushed it open and walked in. I didn't try to stop him, there was no point. He shut the door and turned the lock. All the time he did not blink, his eyes fixed on my face, exactly as I remembered him.  
  
After a minutes silence I whispered, "You aren't real," pointing at him I said a little bit stronger "You can't be real"  
  
"Oh Ebony, I am real, I am so real" he said as he grabbed my wrist. I could feel his physical presence; he was still strong so strong. He lifted my hand and made me touch his cheek, I tried to pull away but he held on tighter.  
  
"Am I real?" he asked  
  
"It's impossible" I whispered staring into his pale eyes, looking for something to tell me he wasn't real, nothing showed itself, they still glared with the same hatred as ever.  
  
"Am I real?" He demanded as he increased the pressure on my wrist until I thought it might snap in his fingers.  
  
"Yes" I gasped trying to free my wrist from his steely grip. He dropped it and I cradled it to my chest, there were red marks imprinted on my wrist where his hand had been.  
  
"Ebony, return to me" he whispered, like a snake about to pounce "You know the power of Power and Chaos, rule with me" His eyes seemed to draw me in, like they hypnotized me, but I pulled away, that part of my life was over, I was a different person now, not the queen of the locos anymore and I never could be again.  
  
"No" I whispered "No, you have no power over me" As I said that his face twisted grotesquely, raising his hand he hit me sending me sprawling across the floor on top of my already injured wrist, as I fell I hit a shelf. As I lay on the floor groggily with the shelf half across me he shouted manically  
  
"No power, no power. Ebony I have all the power in the world over you, all the power" the manic ness, the sheer conviction in his voice terrified me and I shrank as far away from him as I could. Slowly he bent over me until his face was inches from mine and hissed "I will make you regret you ever said that, I will make you beg me to take you back, I will make you wish to die" with those chilling promises he left my room leaving me lying on the floor shaking. On my face and wrist nastily colored bruises were already beginning to show.  
  
As soon as the mall rats were asleep I left the room and began to roam the mall, I couldn't sleep, my room was like a prison cell trapping my thoughts of Jay and Zoot within it. I made my way onto the roof, the freedom and the open space on the roof beckoned to me.  
  
I sat on the roof for a long time watching the eerily silent roofs of the city. Twice I had ruled over all of that, twice I had found someone to love, twice I had lost them to Amber and twice Zoot had asked me to rule with him. It seemed in this city I was doomed to things in pairs, and never good things. After a while dawn came, casting its strange light across the roofs of the city, I felt somehow my time on the roof was over. Driven off the roof I went to the café.  
  
It wasn't until I was next to him that I saw Jay sat just inside the doorway, thankfully he was sat the opposite side to the multi colored bruise on my face which despite all my efforts with make up still showed its glorious colors.  
  
As soon as he saw me he jumped up and grabbed my wrist stopping me backing away as I had been planning on doing. Unfortunately he grabbed the wrist Zoot had and the pain was so intense I cried out. He immediately let go his face concerned. Where he had gripped my wrist the long sleeved top I had put on to hide the bruising and swelling on my wrist pulled away and the bruise was revealed. His eyes opened wide.  
  
"Ebony what happened?" he asked staring at my wrist in horror. He held it tenderly, like it was something precious but I snatched it back to myself.  
  
"I just sprained it" I snapped at him but as I did I unconsciously turned to look at him revealing the angry bruise on my face which up till then I had kept hidden.  
  
He gasped "And that?" he asked reaching out to touch it, I didn't knock his hand away as my head told me to, his touch, his concern it felt good and I wanted it to continue. I looked into his eyes and I felt myself drawn into them.  
  
He began stroking my cheek gently. "I love you," he whispered.  
  
His words twisted on my heartstrings pulling me out of my Jay induced trance, I smacked away his hand, he looked hurt.  
  
"What. Did that wh0re turn you down?" I hissed at him spitefully. Quickly I turned and walked out before he had chance to answer and before he could draw me in again. 


	9. Chapter 9

Just a quick note to say thanks to all of you who have replied to this, your comments are appreiciated but I should warn you this story is kinda long (like 38 chapters) so I hope you hang around to read them all.  
Chapter 9  
  
I went and sat on my bed in my room, I had been so close to falling into Jay's arms again but I couldn't, I wouldn't let myself. Down that road lay far too much pain.  
  
When I emerged for breakfast I was greeted with silence and astonished looks, the entire Mallrat tribe was staring at the bruise on my cheek.  
  
"I fell," I snapped at them, annoyed at the attention the bruise was getting me. I sat down opposite Siva and proceeded to play with, but eat very little of, my food, she didn't notice. She was staring across the cafe at Lex and Taisan who were sat at a table together. They were sat close together, very close together.  
  
"Look at that" hissed Siva, she was clearly upset. Although I really didn't want to hear about her problems with Lex I sat and listened, but all the time I could feel Jay's eyes boring into me from where he sat on the table behind me with Salene and Mega.  
  
"Last night I gave him an ultimatum" She said "Her or me. I think he's chosen" her voice was far away and really not at all focused on me, obviously she just needed to talk and she didn't care whom it was she talked to.  
  
"If Lex has a single brain cell in that head of his he'll choose you over that barmy bimbo" I told her trying to cheer her up but also trying to get of the subject of relationship problems as soon as possible.  
  
"Yeh well" she sighed tearing her eyes away from Lex and beginning to eat again with the air of gloom still hanging around her "You ok?" she asked staring at my cheek. Self-consciously I moved my hand to cover the bruise slightly.  
  
"Fine" I said in a frosty tone  
  
"I just thought." she said nervously "Jay."  
  
I choked "Jay!" I spluttered, "You think Jay did that?" it was almost funny it was so ridiculous I put her right "Jay didn't hit me, he may be slime but he's not that bad" I told her  
  
Our conversation ended at this point because Salene began herding everyone together for the farce on city net where the Mallrats were to acknowledge Mega's supreme rule of the Technos and the city. She placed me next to Jay for the entire performance, I didn't speak to him but I got a chance to look at his new 'dress sense'. Salene had bullied him out of his Techno things saying they didn't fit in with the image we were trying to get across to the city. He was wearing practical army combats and had changed his war paint to the bare minimum in a black and green design. He looked great and all I wanted to do was kiss him and tell him to forget the last few days but I didn't, I couldn't, it was over. Finally the citynet broadcast was over and I could escape from them all back into my room.  
  
Eventually I left my room, driven out by hunger, I made my way to the café. Just as I was passing the main staircase I heard voices  
  
"She stood next me the whole time and she didn't say a word." that was Jay's voice and he didn't sound very happy. Quietly I made my way to the top of the staircase and peered over, what I saw banished any feelings of sorrow for Jay from my mind. Jay was sat with his head in his hands with his back to me and Amber was sat next to him.  
  
"She'll get over it" she said her voice that special tone of comfort and love that Amber used so frequently when sticking her nose in other people's business.  
  
"I wouldn't be sure" he replied his voice sounding leaden.  
  
"Well neither would I" I yelled sarcastically from above them, how could he do this to me; tell her, her of all people. Both jumped and turned around.  
  
"Its not what you think" Jay said looking remarkably guilty  
  
"How do you." I yelled but Salene, Pride, Patch and Dee walking through the entrance interrupted me  
  
"Ebony" said Salene something approachhing relief in her voice "Your ok" she said "And why shouldn't I be?" I asked puzzled by the looks on their faces and turning away from Jay and Amber, the slanging match had been postponed, for now.  
  
"Java's escaped" said Dee  
  
"Java's escaped?" said Jay in puzzlement "How?"  
  
"We don't know," said Salene "All that's left of her presence is this" she held out a piece of paper  
  
"You really should see it Ebony," said Pride watching me, the tone of his voice put me on my guard and I started walking down the staircase to find out what was on the paper.  
  
Whilst I was walking down Jay stepped forward and looked at the paper. "Oh god" he said and handed back the piece of paper to Salene, by now I was quite worried. When she handed it to me I was nervous, wondering what could be so bad.  
  
On the paper was a picture of me; it looked like it might be from reality space since it was in a tropical beach I had never seen before. But that wasn't what was so horrifying, written all over the picture in Java's tiny handwriting was notes and diagrams of ways to kill me and to make me suffer. Some of them were even painful to read, let alone to perform, I felt sick.  
  
"She wrote this?" I asked my eyes still fixed on the sheet and it's writing.  
  
"Yeh" said Dee "sick isn't it"  
  
"Look at the back" said Pride  
  
I turned the sheet over, on the back Java had written all the reasons why I deserved to die. They went in various different directions and frequently overlapped each other, some were unreadable. Half I couldn't remember doing and most of the other half happened when I wasn't with her and Siva.  
  
From the corridor leading off the staircase came shouting. Turning and looking everyone saw Lex and Siva emerge around the corner, they didn't notice us.  
  
"I don't care Lex" Siva yelled in his face "I don't care whatever excuse you give I just don't care any more, you made you choice"  
  
"But Siva" pleaded Lex "I want." at this point both turned and realized the greater part of the inhabitants of the mall were watching them.  
  
With one last evil look at Lex Siva turned and said cheerfully  
  
"So what's up?"  
  
Looking at each other the rest of us decided to ignore the argument we had just witnessed. "You need to see this," I said to Siva holding out the piece of paper to her. She took it and after reading it her eyes widened in horror,  
  
"Java wrote this?" she asked  
  
"Yeh, we found it in her room" said Pride "She escaped"  
  
"She escaped?" repeated Siva in wonder  
  
"Siva, would Java really try to kill Ebony?" asked Amber  
  
"She's always had a thing against Ebony, but." said Siva  
  
"And she's a spiteful bitch" put in Jay  
  
Siva really wasn't listening to what the others were saying she was staring at the piece of paper "This isn't like her" she said sounding worried, everyones attention was on her instantly,  
  
"What's not like her?" asked Pride  
  
"This" Siva waved the piece of paper about for enphasis "Its just not her style, she's too careful to leave something like this laying around"  
  
What are you saying?" asked Salene  
  
"I'm saying either Java left this intentionally or she's lost it," said Siva sounding apologetic for what Java had or was going to do. I knew what she was saying was true but for some reason it didn't bother me much, Java was a problem I had dealt with all my life, this was just another development in the saga, I had bigger problems.  
  
"Is there anything we can do?" asked Salene  
  
Siva shook her head and sighed,  
  
"This is Java's element, this is what she's best at"  
  
"Have we finished discussing my problem?" I asked. I was getting quite short tempered because I could feel Jay like a beacon next to me, and Amber next to him. "Fine, I'll be in my room" I said. Jay stepped forward  
  
"Aren't you concerned?" he asked quietly, everyone else tried to look as if they couldn't hear our conversation.  
  
"Why should I be?" I asked loudly "There's nothing I could do anyway" I turned away from Jay and walked off the image of his concerned face imprinted on my mind, in the background I heard Salene mutter  
  
"That's our Ebony" 


	10. Chapter 10

Thanx everyone, I know it's long and I will post when I can.  
  
Chapter 10  
  
As I walked along the hallway I heard a voice calling to me  
  
"Ebony, Ebony" it called gently. I spun around trying to locate the source of the voice. I found non and as quickly as it had begun it stopped leaving me more than a little spooked. I made my way carefully through the mall watching and listening for Zoot.  
  
Making it safely to my room I sat in my room thinking about Java, how could she hate me that much? I knew I had done some bad things in my life but nothing to warrant such hatred. And Jay. The ache and pain of Jay remained constantly throbbing inside me sometimes threatening to engulf me in pain and sorrow. Zoot too, his threats, his promises. They scared my deeply and I constantly watched around me waiting for his next move.  
  
I was so deep in thought that when the knock on my door came I jumped, through the door came muffled sobbing. Opening it revealed Siva sobbing on the floor. I bent down to look at her where she was huddled on the floor, she stared back at me, her eyes were filled with sorrow and pain.  
  
"Ebony." she whispered  
  
"What is it?" I asked pulling her through the doorway and then sitting on the floor to rock her in my arms.  
  
"Lex" she sobbed "He, he slept with Taisan" this statement caused her to start sobbing with renewed vigor  
  
"The ba5tard" I said more to myself than her, the ba5tard had hurt my sister and I knew exactly how she felt. She sobbed for a while longer not really making much sense but I tried to comfort her. My heart bled for her. I knew exactly how she felt and all I wanted to do was break down and share my pain with hers. But that was my burden and what I had to do was help her with hers. Finally she stopped sobbing and I got a decipherable story from her. Lex had slept with Taisan last night, he said Taisan had got him drunk and all he wanted was Siva.  
  
After a minutes silence Siva said reflectively "Do you know what mom would say now?" she asked  
  
"No" I said  
  
She smiled and sniffed "She would say, "Honey, if he made you cry he's not worth it" I smiled at her, that sounded like mom. I could almost hear her voice coming through the years to bring us the advice.  
  
"Is he worth it?" I asked her. After a minute's reflection she said  
  
"Yeah, he is" she turned and looked at me quizzically and then asked "Was Jay worth it?"  
  
The question caught me off my guard. Jay had and was hurting me so much but the thought of a life without him even for the shot time I had had him struck my heart cold and seemed like a constant winter. "Yeah" I said quietly and sadly  
  
After that the conversation turned and we spent the rest of the day together, around the mall and in the city, talking like close sisters. It felt great. For that time my problems were lifted from my shoulders and it was a welcome release. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
  
That night drifted off into a strange restless sleep, almost as if I knew what was to come. I was woken violently when two strong hands lifted me from my bed. My eyes snapped open, and I found myself staring into Zoot's white eyes.  
  
"Ebony" he hissed. Then he lifted me and tossed me across the room like a rag doll. I seemed to fly through the air slowly in a surreal world. I saw him standing by my bed watching me and I felt my body hit my wardrobe before falling to the foot of it.  
  
Slowly he advanced on me, scared I used the wardrobe to pull myself up.  
  
"Keep away from me" I told him my voice shaking, I was terrified. He was so strong and forceful. "I'm not you slave anymore" I told him as I shrank away from him against the wardrobe  
  
"No you're just a common s1ut now" he said his voice low and dangerous "Do you remember when you were my s1ut ebony?" Memories enfolded me and my breath caught in my throat in terror  
  
"No" I whispered in despair  
  
He picked me up and pushed me against the wardrobe, he was so close he was all I could see and I could hear his breath, even his breath was menacing. He began to bang my body against the wardrobe over and over repeating "You are my s1ut, my s1ut" I couldn't resist however much I struggled, and he forced the phrase through my mind battering through my defenses leaving them destroyed until that phrase was all I could think of.  
  
Finally he threw me down into a quivering heap at the bottom of the wardrobe.  
  
"You are my s1ut," he hissed at my before leaving.  
  
He left me there shaking, I didn't move for over an hour, my body felt broken and weak and my mind was in shreds. Eventually I forced myself to move and I dragged myself into the bed where I rocked myself into an exhausted sleep.  
  
I woke before dawn and I knew I would not sleep again that night. My body ached and I was haunted by Zoot's face and his words. Looking in the mirror I saw my body was covered in bruises, thankfully there were none on my face, to compliment the bruise I already had there, which people might ask questions about. I got out my long sleeved top to cover the bruises from the prying eyes of the Mallrats and left the hotel making my way down to the beach.  
  
I used to spend a lot of time on the beach when I was with the Locos; the peace and space calmed me and made me feel better. When I climbed a hill and stood looking at the beach stretch for miles deserted either side of me and the sea spread before me I felt my problems float away on the wind that was swirling and eddying around me pulling on my clothes and intensifying the early morning nip in the air.  
  
On the beach I walked among the sand dunes or sat on the sand watching the clouds high above me. I followed the flight of a seagull becoming one with it, soaring in the sky, feeling every jolt and lift in the wind until it disappeared over the horizon. All the time I didn't think of Jay or Zoot, the beach numbed the pain and in my heart I created a special place of calmness that was the beach, a place where there was only me, no-one else and no problems.  
  
About midday as I sat on a dune I saw a boy walk onto the beach, he was dressed in Techno uniform. Not wanting to be seen I hid watching him waiting to see who he was meeting. After a minute or so I saw a girl run onto the breach and fling herself into his embrace where they kissed passionately. There was something strangely familiar about this girl but I couldn't think who she was.  
  
I had been planning to leave after I saw who he was meeting but the sight of them meeting in secret twisted my heart painfully. I sat there watching them, mesmerized, remembering when Jay and I had been like that in our secret meetings in the hotel, the urgency, the suspense, the sense that we were doing something bad that heightened the pleasure of the meeting, it was all there. And then I realized who the strange girl was, it was Taisan.  
  
What was Taisan doing meeting secretly with a Techno lover on the beach? I wondered about going and telling the Mallrats but I didn't see the point, the thought of becoming embroiled in the endless rows and pain this would cause was too much. I was already mentally and physically exhausted from Zoot, the tribe would have to find this one out themselves. I left them to it finally making my way back to the mall, I reckoned I had spent about eight hours on the beach; it hadn't seemed nearly that long at all. 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12  
  
As I walked into the mall Salene appeared  
  
"Where have you been?" she asked sounding exasperated  
  
"Out" I said frostily 'welcome home Ebony' I thought  
  
"Out!" she said, "Ebony, I have been worried. Java." she began  
  
"I can deal with Java," I told her in the same tone as before, Salene's over protective nature was really getting up my nose recently.  
  
"Ebony you are part of this tribe" she said trying to convince me, it didn't work. I never had been and never would be a part of the whole "Let us help you," she pleaded  
  
"Salene, believe me, Java is the least of my worries" I told her truthfully, I hadn't thought or worried about Java since the conversation we had had in the stairway we were in. Until she actually attacked me I had more pressing concerns.  
  
"God you're as bad as Cloe" Salene suddenly screamed completely flipping and letting out raw emotions. By the look on her face I suspected this little fit of over protectiveness had very little to do with me and a lot to do with someone else.  
  
At that moment Pride rounded the corner with a worried look on his face  
  
"Sal there's no sign of her anywhere" he said sounding frustrated  
  
"Where is she?" screamed Salene flinging her arms around like a child.  
  
"Whoa, ssssshhhh" said Pride soothingly putting his arms around her to calm her. I began to edge towards my escape route trying to get out of what was fast becoming a very private scene however Mouse came in breaking up the moment  
  
"Salene, Salene" she cried in her child's voice  
  
"What is it Mouse?" asked Salene tenderly bending down so she was at Mouse's level. "Lex said they didn't find her, she's not in the mall," she gabbled out  
  
"Who's missing?" I asked wondering who it was  
  
Pride turned away from Salene and looked slightly guilty "May" he said quietly. That explained why Salene was so upset, it probably had something to do with Pride.  
  
"They said everyone was meeting in the café," said Mouse  
  
"Right" Salene said following her "Coming Ebony?" she asked looking at me, I sighed and followed, it didn't look like I had much choice.  
  
When I turned up at the café trailing behind Pride, Salene and Mouse the entire tribe was there. Patch and Dee and Lex and Siva were sat wrapped around each other, Lex and Siva had obviously made up. Taisan was sat on her own and so was Sammy though Mouse ran and sat with him. Amber and Baby Bray were sat at a table and Salene and Pride went and sat with them. Jay was stood in the corner of the room watching what was going on, I tried to ignore him as much as possible, to block him out of my sight but it didn't work, all the time he stood there like a beacon in the corner of my mind.  
  
"No one's found her?" asked Salene heavily when she sat down, when silence was all she got she asked hopefully "A clue to where she went?"  
  
"Nothing" said Jay from the corner  
  
Salene put her head in her hands "This is my fault" she said heavily to the world in general "How can it be your fault?" asked Amber in her tender loving caring way that made me want to throw up  
  
"Sal, we should tell them, they have to know sometime," said Pride quietly to Salene  
  
"What is going on?" asked Lex sounding as frustrated as I felt.  
  
Salene took a deep breath "I'm pregnant" she said  
  
"Are you sure?" asked Patch fiddling with his glasses as Amber hugged Salene  
  
Dee elbowed him in the stomach "Patch!" she hissed  
  
"I'm sure," said Salene smiling, then she faltered and her face fell slightly "I have been pregnant before" she told him  
  
"Well I think its great news" said Amber smiling broadly, typical Amber "But what has this got to do with May?" she asked, for once, much as I tried, I almost had to agree with her  
  
"May heard us talking." Pride said, there was no need to end the sentence and explain why May had gone.  
  
"Hang on a sec," said Lex "Your telling us she hasn't been taken, she's gone of her own free will, so why are we looking for her? Doesn't she have the right to leave if she wants to?"  
  
"But." said Salene  
  
"Salene, much as I hate to agree with Lex on anything" Amber said putting a lot of emphasis on the anything "This is May's choice, she doesn't want to be followed so we shouldn't follow her" she told Salene tenderly. For the second time in several minutes I almost agreed with Amber, this was too strange, I told myself I agreed with Lex, that was less strange, slightly. Salene got up and stormed out, after a few seconds Pride got up and followed her slightly more calmly.  
  
Gradually the tense silence after the storm broke down into quiet talking, next to me Lex asked Siva  
  
"The Bar tonight?"  
  
Siva smiled at him "Sure" she said and then turning to me she asked, "You wanna come?" behind her Lex scowled. A bar, away from the mall, away from Zoot, it sounded brilliant  
  
"Yeh" I said, I had to stop myself from laughing at the scowl on Lex's face that disappeared when Siva turned around and said  
  
"That's okay babe?"  
  
"Sure" he said smiling chamingly. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13  
  
When we finally got to the bar just after dark it was busy, the place was bustling and the atmosphere was great. Siva and me went and got a table whilst Lex got the drinks. He seemed to take a long time and when he did return it was with May not drinks.  
  
"May!" said Siva in surprise.  
  
"Apparently May's just on her way back to the Mall" said Lex his voice slightly raised over the noise level in the bar. I zoned out at this point, they were having a heated discussion about May and a friend of hers, I didn't really get much except we were going to pick up the friend so she could join the Mallrats. Instead of listening to the argument I watched the kids around me in the crowded bar, they were jostling and shouting but in someway I was comforted by the hustle and bustle of kids. Finally the others got up, I followed them through the packed bar out into the cool night air. We set off to where Mays friend lived just inside the forest on the edge of the city.  
  
As we walked through the suburbs I was sure I could hear and sense someone following us but every time I turned to see if someone was there I could see nothing in the shadows and the dense fog that was settling around us limiting visibility and making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. However none of the others seemed to hear the noise behind us so I didn't say anything. The sound of our footsteps echoing along the deserted streets in the fog was unnerving and I could see Siva was clutching Lex's hand quite tight; it wasn't just me the eeriness was affecting. By the time we reached the edge of the woodlands I was a little way behind the others, the fog seemed heavy and made it difficult to walk.  
  
May pointed to a well-worn path up through the woods "It's just up there" she said. I paused to look in trepidation at the woods that now faced me. The trees loomed up out of the darkness and fog like ghostly pillars, I really was freaked by then and I wrapped my arms protectively around myself as if to deflect anything bad that might happen. I started up the path the others had disappeared down suddenly feeling vunerable stood there on my own.  
  
Just as I had started up the path and was into the trees I felt a hand on my shoulder and one around my waist, already completely spooked I screamed in shock and terror my mind screaming with me.  
  
I threw my body against the hands holding me twisting, turning and writhing but I didn't manage to free myself. Spinning round to see who my attacker was I was greeted with the one face that scared me more than a mass murderer or rapist, Zoot's maniacal face watched me. I struggled against his grip still in panic.  
  
"They can't hear you or help you" he whispered a look of terrible pleasure on his face. I stopped struggling, the energy for resistance draining out of my body in horror  
  
"You begin to understand my true power" he told me, drawing me closer to him, I drew back in terror, my mind screamed at me to escape, to struggle but I couldn't, I was mesmerized in fear watching his face, acknowledging he could do anything he wanted with me and I couldn't stop him.  
  
He pushed me away from himself and sent me flying to the ground off the path, the brambles and ferns there caught and pulled at me attacking my leather trousers and catching on my jacket to attack the thinner top I had on underneath to cover my bruises. Reaching me in several strides Zoot reached down to where I was sprawled in the brambles and pulled me up violently leaving my coat caught in the ferns. He pushed me against the nearest tree that loomed out of the fog and darkness pinning me with his body so my feet didn't touch the ground and the lumps on the tree pushed painfully into my back.  
  
My mind raced but didn't tell me anything and I was numb. I could see deep into his eyes and what I saw there, the burning rage, the anger and cruelty made me feel helpless and trapped and in some strange perverse way worthless. My breath began to come in silent strangled sobs.  
  
"Scared Ebony?" he asked bringing his face in so close it was all I could see. His hand traced down my cheek and it felt like someone was dragging a burning iron brand down it.  
  
"No" I sobbed. If he touched me, did what he had used to. I remembered and a single solitary tear ran down my face in sorrow for my past, for what I had done and what I had been and how I had been used and in fear for the future, for what might happen to me and my helplessness in it all.  
  
He reached up and held my chin in his hands fixing it in place. I was locked into a prison by his body, I couldn't move, I couldn't resist his attacks, I was trapped. He brought his lips down on mine. I struggled, I resisted but he held me and forced his lips on me, moving his lips and tongue through my mouth forcefully and painfully, mercilessly. It wasn't a kiss for pleasure or love; it was a kiss of pain, torture and punishment, just another cog in his machinery of cruelty. He finally pulled away leaving my mouth bruised and tender, His face was still only centimeters away from mine and I couldn't move so I couldn't see him, he was there filling all of my vision, I felt tears streaming down my face.  
  
"You never used to fight me" he hissed "That was bad, very bad Ebony" he whispered and then with one of his sudden rages he threw my body to the ground with a force that scared me. I curled up around myself protectively crying and sobbing in fear watching him for his next move. He took a step towards me menacingly his face contorted in rage, then suddenly he stopped, turned and melted back into the trees and darkness, as if he were part of it.  
  
I curled up shivering and sobbing, I wanted to be anywhere but that dark cold forest, wrapped in Jays arms or curled up next to my mother on our sofa but when I opened my eyes I was still in that nightmare forest. My body ached from what it had just been put through and my mouth was sore and difficult to move and I felt dirty, so dirty, as if I could never be clean again. My mind felt weak and useless and used, I hated him for doing this to me and I hated myself for letting him do this to me. I wanted to curl up and never move again. 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14  
  
Suddenly voices broke into my world of pain,  
  
"Ebony? Ebony?" vaguely I recognized the voices.  
  
Pulling myself up I tried to make myself look slightly better but I really didn't feel better in any way shape or form, my mind was numb, not connected to my body or my actions. As I walked forwards towards the voices I almost ran in terror, every shadow, and any tree could hide Zoot Eventually I stumbled back onto the path walking straight into Lex. Stepping back I saw there was another girl with them who must have been Mays friend.  
  
She was a startling looking girl. When you looked at her she leaked pain and suffering like Zoot did anger, everything in the way she looked clashed. She was skinny and tall and wearing simple unflattering clothes totally in black that hid her body as if she had something to hide. The only skin you could see was her hands and face and the skin on that was ghostly white against the black material and her black hair that was untidily held back and fell to her waist. Her war paint was done simply but painfully like everything else, it was two blood red marks on both cheeks and blood red lips. All this was unsettling but nothing was as bad as her eyes. Startling green, they stared back at you burning with some inner pain or injury. It was almost painful to look at her and I wondered what had happened to her to make her like that.  
  
"Ebony, this is Allyn," said Siva seeing me staring at her.  
  
"What happened to you?" asked Lex with a slight sneer in his voice I suddenly felt exposed and weak, I saw Allyn watching me with those eyes. They seemed to see through me, they seemed to know me and there was something in them I didn't want to identify or face. "I got lost," I said frostily bringing up my defenses.  
  
The journey home was a nightmare for me, every moment was terror and it seemed to last forever. I made sure I was always in the center of the group, I could feel a presence following us and I didn't want to be in the position where a hand could reach out of the darkness at me. When we made it safely back to the mall I immediately escaped the room seeing the arguments that were to come as the mall rats advanced around May and Allyn.  
  
I went and sat in the café for the night, sleepless and unwilling to return to my own room, I stayed there uninterrupted until I left sometime after dawn. I relived again and again in my mind what had happened with Zoot feeling in my heart my eternal loneliness. In the woods I had been alone, truly alone and defenseless but I this place where people gathered and lived I was still always alone. No one saw me, no one heard me, no one noticed me, and I was alone. Always and forever totally alone.  
  
After dawn I left for the beach, my place of refuge, my place of calm. Like the day before I spent my time loosing my misery and myself in the eternal loneliness and emptiness of the beach and the ocean.  
  
When I got back to the mall Salene bullied me into cleaning the cafe, I had too admit it needed cleaning, it had needed it for a long time. Working in the café with Lex and Siva was better than brooding in my room. Late in the afternoon a water fight started up between Lex and Siva, occasionally, half- heartedly, I joined in but this was their happiness, their fun, not mine and I felt out of place, an intruder in a world I couldn't reach.  
  
"We're dead" Siva declared surveying the cafe which was a disaster zone. Thankfully Salene didn't return to survey our work till after we had performed the miracles required to clean the room, again.  
  
That night I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even lie down, the thought of being woken by those cold merciless hands terrified me. Every creak, every noise could be him coming to torture me more, the minutes went by, the hours in suspense and tension.  
  
Finally unable to stand the suspense any longer I convinced myself to leave the room and walk to the café to get a drink for my parched mouth. I crept to the door picking up the courage to open it, in my mind was a picture of Zoot standing there waiting for me outside, opening it revealed the empty corridor but it didn't make me feel any better. Every door every corner to the café was the same, he could be waiting for me. I couldn't believe he scared me that much, what had he reduced me to.  
  
Finally I got to the café. Peering around the doorway I saw something I didn't want to see, it wasn't Zoot, it cleared all thoughts of Zoot out of my mind, swept them away.  
  
It was Amber.  
  
Wrapped around Jay.  
  
They were stood in the middle of the café not looking at me; Jay was stood in his best techno general pose, his hands behind his back his face passive. But amber was pressing herself against him twining herself around him like a vine. Her hair was messy and her make up smudged and on the table beside them was a half empty bottle of whisky and a glass with lipstick marks on it.  
  
"Come on Jay" Amber was saying slurring some of her words slightly "You know you want to" My heart sank, I wanted to turn away, I wanted to run and run until I was so far away none of them would ever find me again. But I couldn't move, I had to stay, I had to see, I didn't want to but I had to.  
  
"Amber I don't want to kiss you" Jay said firmly removing her hands from around his neck. She pouted and folded her arms  
  
"Why not?" she demanded, "You wanted to the other times"  
  
Other times? Plural? Not just the once Jay had told me about? I felt like I was falling down into a deep deep pit which I couldn't escape from.  
  
"We said we would forget that," said Jay his voice cold  
  
"Well I can't" said Amber pressing herself against him and peering up at him and placing one hand on his chest possessively, I could almost see it burning through the material making a permanent mark there.  
  
"Sure once was a fluke," said Amber persuasively letting her words entwine around him like a snake "But twice? When you were supposed to be in love with miss bi!chiness herself and helping her through her ordeal. Is that a fluke Jay?" I could see her words like a deadly poison weakening him, his face softened slightly but his voice remained steady  
  
"No Amber" he said pushing her off him again but she was not deterred, she had seen it too. "Are you saying you don't want this?" she whispered pushing herself close against him and starring into his eyes. Slowly she reached up pulling his head down to hers. Their lips were millimeters away and I wanted to cry out, I wanted too stop them; I wanted to pull her away from him. But I couldn't, I had to watch I needed to see this.  
  
Slowly their lips touched, carefully, gently they kissed, and their eyes closed Amber's hand behind his head.  
  
It only lasted a few seconds but each millisecond was like an hour to me, I saw in slow motion every detail and each millisecond hammered more cracks and pain into my heart, I couldn't bear to see them like that, so close so tender  
  
Jay pulled away and stared at Amber for a second then turned away from her his head down "You-we can't do this," he told her his voice heavy.  
  
She put her hand on his shoulder using the other one to get another glass of whisky and down it. She pressed herself around his side peering at his face  
  
"Are you saying you don't want me?" she asked.  
  
The words so close to the ones I had used to get Jay back what seemed so long ago shocked me and I could see they had the same effect on him by the look of horror on his face He was silent for a moment obviously collecting his thoughts and then he said  
  
"However much I may be attracted to you, I love." she never gave him the chance to finish the sentence  
  
"The bi!ch queen" she mocked; "The s1ut with the coldest heart and most evil mind in the west, you love her," she laughed slurring more of her words, letting them attack Jay. I wanted to slap her; she had no idea about me or what my life was like.  
  
Suddenly he turned around and lifted her by her collar, his face close to hers and angry  
  
"Don't say that about Ebony" he hissed at her  
  
"Jay be calm" she said hold out her hands to pacify him, gently he lowered her too the ground "Tut, tut, tut" she told him reaching for another glass of whisky "Shouldn't loose your temper like that" she said as she knocked back the glass, staggering slightly she grabbed onto Jay for support.  
  
"I only loose my temper for good reasons" he told her in the tone that he used when he was annoyed "like when people insult." she put a finger on Jay's lips to stop him talking  
  
"Don't say her name," she said, her slur getting worse "You see" she told him in a confidential tone "If she wasn't here we would be fine, its her fault we're not together"  
  
"Her and Bray" Jay said coldly obviously not impressed by how drunk Amber was getting.  
  
Suddenly Amber burst into drunken tears  
  
"Bray left me" she sobbed "He left me all alone and he's not coming back"  
  
Turning her around Jay pushed Amber towards the other door "You should get too bed" he told her.  
  
She stopped crying "Yours or mine?" she asked cheekily. How dare she.  
  
"Amber just go to bed. Alone" he said  
  
"Fine" she muttered sulkily attempting to blow him a kiss but muddling it up totally then ambling out of the room drunkenly.  
  
I couldn't believe what I had just seen or heard, I felt violated, I couldn't believe Amber, even if she was drunk, would try it on with Jay.  
  
Jay began to pick up the bottle and glass and as he straightened up he looked across and saw me. It wasn't as if I was trying to hide, I was just stood next to the doorway a look of horror on my face.  
  
He looked horrified "Ebony!" he cried, I just gave him a withering look and walked off. 


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15  
  
I walked along the corridors waiting for Jay to catch up, I knew he would. Finally I heard his footsteps behind me  
  
"Ebony wait" he called. Slowly I pivoted on one foot to face him. His usually calm exterior was tarnished "Ebony she was coming onto me" he said wildly his eyes pleading with me, those gorgeous eyes that I just wanted to fall into.  
  
"I saw," I said stalking towards him "I also saw you kissing her!" I said coldly  
  
"She kissed me" he protested indignantly "And it meant nothing," he said desperately  
  
"Liar" I said coldly to his face  
  
"It meant nothing to me" he repeated begging me to believe him  
  
"Really" I said skeptically but beginning to weaken, by now we were quite close and he was having a hypnotic effect on me  
  
"Really" he said quietly, but confidently, he knew I was weakening. And then before I knew what was happening I found Jays lips were on mine and we were kissing and his arms were around my back pressing me to him and my arms were twining themselves around the back of his neck and pulling him closer to me. I didn't know what I was doing, I shouldn't be doing this, he had kissed Amber, but somehow in the tide of emotion that swept over me I felt the doubts, the fears the feelings of regret being washed away in the glorious wash of emotions that swept over me with his tender kiss. I was in heaven, his sweet lips were on mine and kissing me tenderly, and I was in heaven.  
  
Then suddenly I was brought back to earth as he pulled away slightly,  
  
"Now that meant something," he gasped his breath tickling my face. I didn't answer except to pull him back down and begin kissing him again.  
  
As our kisses increased we made our way down the hallway until I was lightly pressed against my door completely lost in kissing him. Gently Jay moved his hands to undo my top but as he touched the zip I froze, a series of images flashing through my mind. I saw Jay staring at the bruises that danced across my body and I saw him not believing me that Zoot had given me them.  
  
I pushed him away from me not really believing it was happening. Zoot had come between Jay and me.  
  
"No" I said firmly keeping him at arms length, not looking at his face  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked concerned, holding my hand tenderly  
  
I stepped back into my room "This never happened and it wont happen again" I said coldly slamming the door on his shocked face.  
  
"Ebony" he yelled pounding on the door as I sank to lean against it my legs trembling "Lets talk about this" he begged, I ignored him, I had to, this was not something I could compromise on.  
  
Zoot had come between Jay and me; somehow from a distance he had managed it. I needed to forget, I needed nothing, and I needed peace.  
  
When I entered the smoky bar an hour later I was wearing my most revealing outfit, my bruises hidden by make up and the half-light in the bar. My braids were gone, they were too distinctive and my make up had changed. I was a different person, an anonymous girl, not Ebony. Only those that were drunk or slightly drunk were left in the bar at this time of night, just the kind of man I wanted. Spotting a candidate, open to suggestion but not out of it, I moved forwards to sit next to him at the bar. Sliding into the seat next to him I gave him a good eyeful of my outfit then signaled the bartender for a drink. As the bartender brought my drink the boy next to me insisted on paying for it, this was going to be easy.  
  
For the next ten minutes as I wormed my way into his consciousness we sipped our drinks, he was about to order some more when I learned over and letting my tongue tickle his ear whispered  
  
"Is there somewhere, quieter, we could go" his eyes lit up and he took my hand eagerly and lead me out of the bar and down the quiet streets. He led me to an old ground floor flat he obviously lived in; as soon as we got inside I started kissing him. He tasted of alcohol but I ignored that fact. I tried to find some pleasure in what we were doing but I couldn't find pleasure in it at all, not even something in the way I was using him, but I felt nothing, just removed, calm as it wasn't me kissing him.  
  
Slowly we moved over to the bed in the corner his hands straying across me and removing my clothes. I ought to feel something, even to feel distaste at what I was letting him do to me but I felt nothing. I had done this with so many men to get what I wanted I had taught myself to become removed from it. But now that betrayed me, I wanted to immerse myself, loose myself. As he lay on top of me I desperately tried to find some feeling or emotion but I was numb. Finally it was over and the release I wanted, the release I needed had not come.  
  
Unable to sleep next to a boy I didn't even know the name of I imagined he was Jay; I was falling asleep in Jay's arms, in Jay's bed. 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16  
  
I was woken by morning sunlight streaming onto my face. That was funny, I had no windows in my room, blinking blearily I looked around, I was in a dingy flat, turning I saw the boy lying next to me and I remembered. I felt sick, what had I done? I was dirty, unclean, as if I could never be clean again, as if I had sold something and now I couldn't get it back.  
  
Stumbling around I found my clothes and after dressing left the flat quietly and stumbled down the deserted early morning streets back to the mall. As soon I was in the mall I made my way back to my room, locking the door I sank to the floor. Now more than ever I needed the nothingness, the numbness I had been looking for the night before, I needed to forget.  
  
Suddenly I got angry with myself and the position I was in. I flung my boot across the room where it hit my table. It knocked several things off; the thing that landed closest to me was a pair of scissors. Carefully I picked them up and began turning them in my hands. Their coldness, the shine and reflection on them mesmerized me; slowly I ran my finger along the blades feeling their sharpness. As if I had no control over my actions I opened the blades and stared at them. Gradually I moved them up my arm until they were poised above the naked flesh just below my elbow.  
  
There were a few seconds where I wondered whether I could do it, whether I had the courage. It was like the time I ripped Siva's essay up, I knew once I had done the tiniest thing there was no going back, what I would do was not fixable.  
  
Finally I swallowed my nerve and brought the cold hard steel down onto my skin. Pressing down on my skin it bit in and I dragged it along. That was it, I had done it and for a moment I just stared at the gaping cut along my arm in shock.  
  
And then the pain hit me, like a wave it hit me canceling out my internal pain, leaving me floating in nothingness, in a world of my own where I felt nothing.  
  
Dimly I watched as a trickle of blood seeped out of the cut and trickled down my arm, it split into two and then dripped onto the floor but I didn't care. It was gone, all my pain, all my suffering, I felt nothing, blissful nothing.  
  
Then gradually the pain from my arm decreased and I fell back to earth again as I felt my inner pain again. As I lent back against the door and covered my arm what I had done didn't really hit me. I was free, away from it all, for those moments I had floated in blissful euphoria, the reality didn't matter, I had found release.  
  
Jay  
  
I was woken the next morning from where I had fallen asleep on the café table by Siva. I felt awful.  
  
"Jay!" said Siva in surprise as she woke me by walking into the cafe "What are you doing here?" she asked  
  
"I must have fallen asleep," I groaned lifting my head the events of the past night flooding back on me. I had been sat there since Ebony pushed me out of her room, trying to understand it, to figure it out. I just couldn't understand her, things had been fine, perfect even, and then she just froze up and locked me out of her room, I could see no reason why.  
  
"Coffee?" Siva asked walking through into the kitchen, usually I would say no, coffee was too rare but that morning I needed something.  
  
"So why are you asleep in here?" Siva yelled through as she prepared the drinks  
  
"Long story," I yelled back. She didn't answer until she had walked through holding the mugs of coffee, placed one of the aromatic mugs in front of me and pulled up a chair  
  
"It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a sister of mine whom my other sister is planning to kill?" she asked in a matter of fact tone. Pausing for a minute she heard her own words and added "God, my family's screwed up!"  
  
I had to grin, sure my brother was AWOL but at least he wasn't plotting to kill his siblings.  
  
"Yes, and totally" I said grinning at her  
  
She purposefully ignored the comment on her family and concentrated on Ebony "So tell me the whole story, I have time," she said sipping her coffee.  
  
The thought of what had happened sobered me up and the whole sorry story came poring out of me, with the details of exactly what me and Ebony had been doing removed for my audiences benefit, though by the look in her eye Siva had a pretty good idea what my censorship hadn't told her.  
  
"You did nothing?" asked Siva obviously as puzzled by me by the whole tale.  
  
"No" I sighed, Siva thought for a moment then said thoughtfully  
  
"She was scared, of what I don't know"  
  
"Scared?" I asked, Ebony, scared?  
  
"Ebony's like a hedgehog" Siva said trying to explain. The image of a hedgehog in tight revealing red and black leather popped into my mind and I had to grin.  
  
"What's funny?" asked Siva seeing my grin.  
  
I shook my head to tell her nothing was wrong but the image remained with me for a long time.  
  
"She has a softer side, but you need to get through her defenses first which she uses when she's scared" Siva explained. It was a pretty accurate description of Ebony, but it didn't explain what she was scared of.  
  
"So why's she scared?" I asked  
  
"You're on your own for that one" Siva said. Even with Siva's help I was still at a loss of what Ebony was scared of, but I would try my hardest to find out. 


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17- Ebony  
  
I wandered back into the mall after midday, as usual I had spent the morning on the beach hiding from my problems and trying to sustain the feeling of euphoria inside me. Unfortunately as I walked into the mall I found Jay watching me from the table at the top of the stairs.  
  
Without really looking at me he called down "Salene's called a tribe meeting, she says Mega has something important to tell us"  
  
"Oooooo, fun" I muttered to myself, I had the pleasure of being invited to the series of arguments loosely described as a tribe meeting. "Fine" I yelled up at him preparing to leave and then realizing with a sinking heart my room was on the second floor, I would have to go past him. And he knew it, bas!ard. As I began to climb the stairs without looking at me he told me  
  
"You can't ignore it"  
  
"What?" I asked innocently  
  
"What happened?" he said getting up so he was in my way, d@mn him, did he know how much he was affecting me? Did he want to make me suffer?  
  
"Ebony." he said as I reached the top of the stairs and tried to walk around him, he reached out and tried to grab my arm. I snatched it back to myself, I didn't want to be touched, anyone might see, might find out about my bruised body. However his action had the desired effect when I stopped to hear him out.  
  
When he looked at me I could see something in his eyes, a spark of knowledge and understanding which I didn't understand, but after he had spoken I did.  
  
"Tell me you don't want me," he said, his eyes and voice telling me he knew the exact effect those words, somehow sacred to us, would have on me. D@mn him, d@mn him. He knew, and he was right, my stomach flipped and my heart seemed to stop and twist painfully at those few words.  
  
My mind told me to say spiteful things, to deflect this question but somehow I could not. In some strange way it was sacred and just as he had not lied to me I could not lie to that question. Instead I stayed silent, the fear in my mind of being discovered keeping me silent and the feelings in my heart stopping me denying it out right.  
  
I didn't say anything else, just walked off knowing that he had won, he knew I still cared for him, he knew I still wanted him. Oh yes I wanted him, I ached for him, the last night had made me needed his touch and presence more than ever.  
  
I got back to my room, then remembered Jay had said something about a tribe meeting. Dammit. Unwillingly I turned around and made my way back to the café.  
  
Most of the tribe was already loosely scattered in a semi circle around Mega when I arrived. I slid into a seat on the edge of the room, not greatly interested in what was going on. It was only when I had sat down that I realized I was sat almost directly opposite Jay, and he was staring at me, dammit.  
  
"Ebony, your just in time" Salene said brightly, unfortunately pregnancy didn't seem to be affecting her, yet.  
  
Mega started talking in his cool calm manner, explaining to us how he was doing in the program we had devised to shut down the Techno's, I switched off immediately.  
  
As he talked I looked around the Mallrats, Dee and Patch were sat at opposite ends of the room, they had obviously had an argument, Allyn was sat with May, she was even spooky in the light of day. I was glad to see Amber looked like she had been hit by a train, she deserved it and Lex and Siva were sat wrapped around each other, at least someone was happy, and I was glad it was Siva.  
  
As I looked around my eyes suddenly collided with Jay's, electricity seemed to pass between our eyes that were locked to each other across the room and I couldn't break away.  
  
It took Mega saying "And we have found some of the Mallrats" to snap me out of that seemingly eternal trance. My attention snapped back to Mega, he had found the missing Mallrats? The older Mallrats were staring at him mixed hope and pain in their faces.  
  
"You found the missing Mallrats?" asked Amber, her voice sounding shell shocked and her question echoing everyone else's.  
  
"Some" Mega said his voice not changing even in the sudden electric atmosphere in the room. "As agreed, we are returning the missing kids to where they came from in dribs and drabs and we've just found some of the Mallrats"  
  
"Some?" asked Lex  
  
"Four" Mega said  
  
"Who?" asked Salene her face lit up with excitement  
  
"I don't know," replied Mega  
  
"When are they arriving?" asked Taisan looking slightly calmer than everyone else, then I didn't understand why, a few days later I did.  
  
"Tomorrow" replied Mega turning to look at Taisan a flash of something exchanging between them and I wondered, like everyone else had, what had really happened to her with the Technos.  
  
I, Lex, Taisan, Salene, Pride, May and Amber were all on edge. They were coming home, four of our friends, our old lovers, our tribe. It was written across everyone's faces, hope that the people they most missed would return but the dampening realization that only four of them would, who each person wanted the four to be was different.  
  
For the others gathered in the room, Jay, Siva, Mouse, Sammy, Dee, Patch and Allyn, it meant very little. New faces, new friends, new enemies and possibly new lovers, but that was the future, hopes and dreams that might never come to realization in the crazy world we inhabit, no one looks to the future too much after the virus.  
  
Just as the meeting seemed to be about to break down completely Jay called out nervously, his voice hesitant,  
  
"What about Ved? Have you found him?"  
  
Mega turned around to look at him and still supremely calmly said "Yes and no"  
  
"Yes and no?" said Jay puzzled  
  
"We found his body, but his mind's been integrated into the computer system" Mega told him seemingly not affected by the fact he was giving Jay devastating news, and Jay did look devastated. He looked like he had been hit by a lorry, he seemed to want to ask more questions but he couldn't find the words so he just sank back down into his seat in stunned silence.  
  
Then gradually the meeting broke down, the newer members of the tribe leaving quite soon but the older members hanging around, talking of old times and old friends. It felt strange, like a secret elite club, all scared to say how we really felt incase we hurt anyone else in our choice of whom we wanted to return, and for once I was in that inner circle. The atmosphere lasted the rest of the day as we wandered around the mall an edge of excitement and suspense in the air. 


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18  
  
I lay in my bed that night thinking. The release I had gained that morning from my problems had relaxed me slightly, for the first time in days I had actually eaten more than my usual three mouthfuls at dinner and I was prepared to actually go to bed and consider sleeping.  
  
But I could not get my mind off Jay. The way he had looked at me today, with love ad longing, a mirror for my feelings for him. Surely I wasn't fooling myself? I couldn't be so consumed with desire for him I was imagining he reciprocated the feelings? No, I was certain, his words, those precious words echoed in my head,  
  
"Tell me you don't want me" they echoed through my mind repeating themselves over and over until all doubt was driven from me, if I wanted him Jay was mine, and I wanted him.  
  
In that minute I made a decision.  
  
I would go to him, slide into his bed like he had done so long ago into mine, and I would apologize and say I was sorry. I would let him see the bruises Zoot had given me and somehow I would persuade him they were Zoot's doing, he had to believe me, he had to. And then I could be with him, and he could protect me from Zoot and everything would be ok again.  
  
Confidently I got up and padded through the silent halls to the room I had once shared with Jay. Then I saw the long corridor that led to Jay's room and I paused faltering in the flow of confidence I had gained that morning, Zoot had stood that doorway, talking to me, torturing me. But I had to get over that, telling myself I was being silly I forced myself to walk forwards, but I was less confident, silently fiddling with one of the delicate bracelets on my wrist.  
  
Then suddenly I felt gentle ghostly hands pluck and pull at my braids. But it wasn't hands that touched them; it was a breeze, a ghostly breeze. A ghostly breeze that carried a message with it.  
  
A voice repeated over and over "He won't believe you, my queen" letting 'my queen' echo off into the distance.  
  
Suddenly like jolt to my heart I knew he did not want me, he would not believe me, I was being stupid, ridiculous. If it was him coming to tell me Zoot had returned I would never believe him, why should he believe me? I was stupid and silly to think he might want me and he might believe me, I had been clutching at straws. As the wind stopped I turned away from his door, no one would ever believe me, I was becoming stupid and sentimental to think anyone would.  
  
As I hurried back towards my room I forgot Zoot's wind in anger at myself and my stupidity. But as I opened the door to my room it revealed someone watching me with a cold unforgiving stare that reminded me of it, Zoot.  
  
"Hello my queen" he hissed at me as I stepped back in shock as if if I got far enough away he might just leave me alone.  
  
Without thinking I whispered "I'm not your queen" It came out without any warning, I didn't mean to say it out loud but when it had been said all I could do was watch in horror as violent anger flashed in his eyes. He reached out and grabbed my top pulling me close to him and all the time those relentless eyes stared at me.  
  
"You will always be me queen" he told me, and he was right. I was always his queen, to the city, to the mall rats, I was always his queen. As soon as he saw his words had had the desired effect he lifted my clothes higher so my feet were off the floor and I was gasping for breath, as my throat was restricted. He turned and took a few steps into my bedroom with me in his grip then flung me across the small room so I landed sprawled across my bed jarring my neck painfully in landing. He walked till he was standing over the bed menacingly, I began to crawl backwards on my back trying to keep away from him but still mesmerized by his eyes.  
  
"They'll never believe you or trust you, they don't love you like I love you" he hissed and as he did so, like some demon from my worst nightmares, he put his hands either side of me and crawled up until he was above me and forcing me to lie flat on the bed.  
  
My breath came in short terrified gasps as he stoked my body and stared into my eyes. But his hands were not soft and gentle like a lover's they were vicious and harsh and everywhere they dragged they left marks across my body  
  
I wanted to move, to scream, to do anything but I was held captive by his body and his eyes, which stared down at me with a mixture of hatred and love and anger and pleasure.  
  
"So beautiful, so strong" he whispered as his hands ran across me.  
  
"No!" I whispered desperately the breath catching in my throat as he bent his head towards me. I turned my head away to avoid his kiss but he reached out and snapped my neck back to face him and held my head in an iron grip until his lips met mine. The kiss was like the last, forceful, devastating, painful. Once his lips were forcing my head against the bed he removed his hand but I still couldn't escape. This time he did not stop kissing me quickly, as I struggled trying to free myself from his embrace he went on and on until my mouth felt like jelly, desecrated. Eventually he pulled away and grabbed hold of my cheek  
  
"You will learn to love me" he hissed "I will teach you to love me as you once did and as is fitting of my queen" I couldn't answer or protest, my mouth still could not move.  
  
Then he lifted himself off me and left, his ominous threats still hanging over me. 


	19. Chapter 19

[Autors note: thank you to everyone who is reading and repling to this it really does mean a lot to me to know that you appreiciate my story. I know you all want ebs to get back woith jay but you'l just have to wait and see what happens. Pinkpanda.]  
  
Chapter 19  
  
I didn't know how long it was after he left when I moved from where I was laying on the bed, it could have been minutes, it could have been hours. In that time my mind was processing what had happened and when I sat up the silent tears finally began to flow from my eyes.  
  
I felt used and useless, like I had that morning, only worse, much worse. I was the opposite of clean, so unclean dirty didn't do it justice, I was revolting, I hated myself, my body and the bruises that covered my body. I had to something, my mind was screaming at being trapped in such an unclean place.  
  
I went to the toilets I used just down the hallway; I locked the door and then began stripping off my clothes, discarding them across the bathroom. Turning on the sink I began to wash my self, gently at first but soon gathering speed until I was washing myself in a frenzy, scrubbing at myself trying to clean myself, get rid of the grime that coated me and the fingers that crawled over me. I scrubbed and scrubbed but I was still dirty.  
  
I stared at my arms, dirty so dirty, I grabbed at a pair of scissors lying on the side and desperately needing the oblivion they had given me before I dragged them over my arm hastily. But this time I didn't get it, the blood came but not the oblivion. I stared at my arm in horror, hot tears of anger and frustration slowly flowing out of my eyes. Sinking back into a corner sobbing I fell to the floor and began rocking myself backwards and forwards as if to comfort myself.  
  
I was lost in a world of anger and pain, I hated myself, I hated him, I hated my life and I hated this strange world I lived in. I felt like things were crawling over my skin, revolting things, things that would never go away.  
  
Gradually my sobbing stopped but I stayed in that little scary place rocking myself backwards and forwards staring at the cold shiny plastic floor, my mind was screaming but I was numb, the tears and blood that had drained out of me had drained any emotion I might have felt.  
  
Finally I began to feel again, began to see the world that surrounded me, dressing slowly I walked out of the room and into my own room. I stared at my bed, I couldn't sleep on those sheets they were dirty. In a sudden haste I pulled them off the bed and dumped them in a corner touching them as little as possible, as if they could make me dirty.  
  
Then I curled up as small as I could on the bare mattress eventually drifting off into strange disjointed sleep.  
  
At first my dreams were difficult to see but as I dreamed they became clearer, they were more memories than dreams. My life jumbled up into an ever moving scene in front of me which I couldn't touch, I saw my parents, Java, Siva, Jay, Zoot, the Locos, the Guardian, Ram and the Mallrats all swirling around me. And always behind me was some unseen horror which was always there and however much I reached out and implored the people I saw to help me they didn't, I was helpless.  
  
Finally, suddenly, the dreams stopped and I was standing alone at the top of a deserted cliff but still that unseen horror was behind me, but I didn't want to see it, didn't want to turn around. Suddenly I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I spun to see a face that I knew in every detail and yet was foreign to me. I stared at myself, and then my other self began to call my name  
  
"Ebony, Ebony" she called again and again. I tried to scream but as much as I screamed the breath stuck in my throat and she reached out and began shaking me still saying my name, then somehow, the cliff was gone and we were falling and she was still shaking me and saying my name so I closed my eyes and began to scream and this time I could scream.  
  
When we stopped falling I opened my eyes cautiously, I was in my own room and Siva was holding me a worried expression on her face.  
  
"Bad dream?" she asked. I sat up slowly blinking in the light and trying to throw off the feeling that there was someone behind me, but it had been a dream, a dream, that was all.  
  
Suddenly a thought occurred in my dream-fuddled mind "What are you doing in my room?" I asked  
  
"Salene sent me," she said. Why did that not surprise me? "The old tribe members are coming back now" I sighed and got up off the bed going to look at my face in the mirror that was propped up on the table.  
  
"Ebony." Siva said nervously  
  
"Mmmmmmm" I mumbled as I put on my make up  
  
"Why are your sheets in the corner?" she asked, I started up turning to look where she was pointing and there were the sheets, where I had thrown them in my wild panic last night.  
  
"I split water over them" I stammered nervously trying to come up with a feasible reason why they were in the corner.  
  
"Oh" said Siva not sounding convinced but I didn't give her time to think about it as I left for the main stairway. 


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 - Amber  
  
I couldn't believe it, this could be it. He might be coming home, my love, my soul mate, the father of my child, he might be coming home.  
  
I stood in the middle of the Mallrats in the entrance waiting, hoping. I hadn't slept, I hadn't been able to, one minute I thought he might come back and I was happy and hopeful but the next I thought he wasn't coming back, I was just kidding myself, setting myself up for disappointment.  
  
But this was it; I could hear their footsteps in the mall entrance and shadows on the wall opposite, four shadows. My heart went into overdrive and then seemed to stop in disappointment as the first person appeared. It was Cloe. She looked terrible, underfed, dirty and tired, Salene immediately dashed forward with a joyful cry of  
  
"Cloe!" and enfolded her in a motherly hug which, for once, Cloe seemed to appreciate. But I had no eyes for Cloe; instead I was drawn to the next two shadows appearing around the corner. If it was Bray who was he with? My heart seemed to stop. But it was Ellie and Jack, hands linked looking as bad, if not worse than Cloe.  
  
I had been pushed forward in the general movement towards the returning friends but I could still only watch with baited breath as the last person walked around the corner. This was it, it could be Bray or not. Inside my heart was the eternal hope inside us all for us to get what we want and it was telling me it had to be Bray, it had to be, but my head was telling me it probably wouldn't be him, there were many Mallrats still missing, why should he be the one to return?  
  
As the last person rounded the corner my eyes seemed to disconnect from my brain, I could see but not process what I was seeing.  
  
It was him.  
  
It was him, standing in front of me, him.  
  
And then in an instant I started breathing and my heart restarted and I was in his arms, my arms around his neck and entwined in his hair, my face pressed him, against absorbing his presence and the scent that I had missed for so long. We stayed like that seemingly eternally until he pulled away so we could look at each other.  
  
He stared at me and I stared back, his face was tired like Cloe's, Jack's and Ellie's but it was still Bray. Slowly I reached up and pushed a piece of stray hair behind his ear then slid my hand around his neck to pull him down to kiss me.  
  
At first our lips only brushed each other, tasting and remembering but then the kiss got deeper, softly wiping the slate clean of the pain of separation and the long lonely nights.  
  
I pulled away first whispering "I have someone to meet you" into his ear. His face formed a silent question and I felt a smile of pride and happiness spread across my lips.  
  
"First sit down" I told him leading him to the fountain  
  
"I'm fine," he protested but he sat down gratefully anyway.  
  
I turned and called into the crowd of Mallrats "Patch?" Patch appeared carrying a bundle, he handed baby Bray to me then left us. I looked at his gorgeous baby face and then bent down to hand him to his father.  
  
"Bray, meet your daddy" I whispered as I handed him over. Bray cradled him in his arms lovingly, entranced, and told me  
  
"He's beautiful, just like his mother"  
  
Suddenly Cloe screeching loudly interrupted our moment  
  
"What do you mean he's integrated into a computer?" and then storming off  
  
"Back to usual" I sighed sinking next to Bray on the fountain. We sat there for a few minutes in silence Bray watching little Bray while I watched the assembled Mallrats. Then Bray started to look around and ask me questions about the assembled Mallrats, who were the new faces? And what had been happening while he had been gone? I answered as best as I could, introducing him to all the new Mallrats and telling him about the older ones. He seemed to know quite a bit about the Technos, I presumed Cloe had told him quite a bit so luckily I didn't need to tell him much about Jay, I felt bad about what I had done to him and Ebony now and I just wanted to forget about it. When I had told him about everyone he sat back and looked around, then suddenly asked  
  
"What happened to Ebony?" sounding concerned  
  
"The usual load of back stabbing and bi!ching" I told him vindictively  
  
"That did that to her!" he said sounding surprised  
  
"Did what to her?" I asked, he looked at me something approaching concern in his face  
  
"You don't see it?" he asked, I shook my head not seeing whatever he saw "look" he said, so I watched Ebony to see what he meant.  
  
She was talking to Patch, straight backed and standing up tall so she didn't look as small as she really was. Her face and her words were sharp and cold and she was ready to take on the world. But then Patch went away and she seemed to relax in a strange way.  
  
Her shoulders hunched so she looked as small as she really was and her confident stance became nervous, her hands never stopping moving nervously. I had noticed recently her clothes had begun to cover her entire body but I had never seen this, she was a frightened little girl trying to keep her tough image up to the world. As much as I disliked Ebony I felt sympathy for her and I wondered what had done that to her, surely Jay couldn't have done, she was too strong for that, but if not Jay then what?  
  
But then little Bray gurgled and began to play with Bray's hand and we both forgot Ebony in our happiness at being a complete family once more. 


	21. CHaptrer 21

Chapter 21 - Ebony  
  
It made me sick to see them all like that, so happy, so in love, all reunited into one big happy family. It wasn't as if Amber even deserved it after what she had done with Jay, and yet she had Bray and a son, who did I have?  
  
Gradually the Mallrats began to filter out of the entrance of the mall to get on with their daily lives, I moved to leave for my morning retreat to the beach. I felt that the few hours I could spend escaping it all was the only thing holding me together, and today I needed that peace and tranquility more than ever. However, just as I got to the entrance Bray stepped in front of me,  
  
"Ok Ebony?" he asked sounding concerned  
  
"Fine" I snapped not happy to be stopped and especially not by him "You having a nice time playing happy families?" I asked spitefully.  
  
A stupid grin spread across his face "Yeh" he said. It was sickening, Amber was actually going to get away with two of my men in two days, how dare the bi!ch, I would show her.  
  
"I hope it lasts," I said sweetly "Maybe now Amber can keep her hands off Jay," I told him innocently but I knew my intentions were anything but innocent.  
  
"Keep her hands off Jay?" Bray echoed sounding slightly worried  
  
I smiled: it was just too easy "Didn't she tell you?" I asked "She couldn't resist stealing my man, again" with that I stalked out leaving Amber to deal with her own mess, I know it was spiteful and mean but it was time little miss perfect and nice got some comeuppance.  
  
[B]Mystery woman[/B]  
  
I stayed low in the undergrowth on the edge of the beach watching her, he had said she went there everyday and today was no exception. He hadn't said why it was so important that I do it here, just said it was, who am I to question him? But when I saw her standing there and knew she was mine I didn't care where I did it, just that I did it.  
  
She was stood perfectly still, her head tilted slightly to enjoy the breeze. It was strange, I had never seen her as quiet or peaceful as that before, it was as if she was trying to absorb the calm around her. She should, it would be the last calm she would have for a long time if I had any thing to do with it. In my mind I imagined myself giving her hours of pain, like she had made me suffer: I could almost taste the pleasure in my mouth. She would pay for everything she had done to me, oh yes she would pay.  
  
Then suddenly it was time, time for action not thoughts, time for revenge, I stood up and began to accelerate out of the undergrowth.  
  
[B]Jay[/B]  
  
I sat in the ferns watching her stand on the beach, she looked so beautiful and at peace, it was almost enough to make me forget to wonder why she came to the beach, but not quite. Everyone had wondered for a long time where Ebony disappeared to every morning, now I knew, she went to the beach. But that still didn't answer the question of why she went to the beach, what drove her away from the mall to the solitude of the beach?  
  
As I prepared to return to the mall I suddenly saw a figure burst out of the undergrowth towards Ebony, and whoever it was didn't look friendly. 


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 - Ebony  
  
Hearing noises behind me breaking through the silence on the beach I turned around. Before I had registered what was happening someone had run into me and forced me to the ground and I was struggling with them, trying to avoid the punches they threw.  
  
In the corner of my eye I could see someone else running towards me, did I have two mystery attackers?  
Java  
  
As soon as she had hit the floor we began to struggle, Ebony trying to defend herself and me trying to get her, it felt great to finally be giving her what she deserved.  
Jay  
  
I watched in slow motion as Ebony's attacker pushed her to the ground and they began struggling and hitting each other. Ebony was defiantly fighting back but still coming off worse and my legs didn't seem to be getting me any closer to them so I could help her  
Ebony  
  
As I dodged the punches and tried to defend myself I tried to see who my attacker was, suddenly whoever it was was lifted off me and as they rose into the air I saw it was Java.  
Java  
  
I dodged a lucky punch by Ebony and was about to break her pretty little nose for her when I felt someone begin to lift me off her, I spun to see who it was and saw Jay's handsome face watching me.  
Jay  
  
I smacked Java one in the face, which seemed to make her angry, how dare she attack Ebony. As I battled Java trying to somehow slow her in her tracks which I knew was no mean feat, she was good and she knew it, I could see Ebony behind her pulling herself up off the sand but I had my hands too full with Java to see whether she was ok or not.  
Ebony  
  
What the hel1 was Jay doing on the beach? Unfortunately I didn't have time to ponder the question as Jay and Java scrapped and I tried to think of someway of stopping Java. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted when Java smacked Jay to the floor and then turned towards me with a malicious glint in her eyes.  
Java  
  
Ha. That would show him, I had trained too many times with Jay to need to try much to get past his defenses and lay him out. After that I could get back to Ebony and I did beginning to get past her defenses again. I was getting used to her strange style of raw street fighting, she should have gone to classes with me and Siva and learnt to fight properly, then this would be more of a challenge, as it was I was beating them both hands down.  
Jay  
  
As Java's vicious hand collided with my jaw I felt myslef fall to the sand and I could see Java begin to attack Ebony again.  
  
Ebony  
  
that was one of the many times I regretted not learning to fight like Java and Siva, she was creaming me, my crude style of street fighting learnt with the Locos no defense against her trained attack and I was getting weak.  
  
Noticing a piece of driftwood lying near Jay I broke my concentration for a moment to yell "Jay!" and indicated the wood to him, for my lapse in concentration I got a black eye from Java.  
  
Java  
  
I was creaming Ebony and I knew she was getting weak, she broke her concentration for a minute to cry for help from Jay, much good it would do her.  
  
That was when it went black  
  
Jay  
  
I scrabbled at the piece of wood Ebony had shown me, as soon as I had it I swung it and hit Java around the head. As she collapsed to the floor Ebony staggered slightly. 


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 - Ebony  
  
As Java crumpled to the floor I felt my legs go weak and I staggered slightly, she really had done a good job of beating me up. As I staggered I felt Jay's arm go around my waist to support me. I looked up at him and smiled gratefully, first he had rescued me from Java and now he was supporting me. He didn't seem too badly affected by her attack, unlike me.  
  
Slinging Java's limp body over a shoulder he said  
  
"Come on, lets get her back to the city" then he wrapped his other hand around me to help me get back to the mall. At any other time this would have been heaven, however I was too knocked about by Java for my brain to make quite the right connections.  
  
"Thanks" I said as we walked across the beach "But what are you doing out here?" I asked remembering I hadn't found that out yet.  
  
He hesitated before answering me "I saw Java and followed her" he told me, he didn't seem too confident with the story but I was too badly beaten up to question him further.  
  
"I'm glad you did" I told him gratefully, and I was, God knows what Java would be doing to me at that moment if he hadn't been there to help me. I shuddered slightly at the thought and feeling my shudder Jay pulled me closer to him, which I wasn't going to complain about.  
  
After that we didn't really say anything else on the way back to the mall. I really didn't feel well, the world kept going funny and most of the time Jay was the only thing keeping me upright and moving.  
  
When we got back to the mall Jay put Java down on the steps and helped me sit down next to her but I promptly fell backwards so I was lying on the steps staring at the cealing high above me.  
  
"Patch? Taisan? Anyone?" yelled Jay, his voice echoing about the mall. As I lay there I heard foot steps coming running in from various directions.  
  
"What happened?" someone, I think Salene, yelled.  
  
Suddenly Patch appeared above me.  
  
"How do you feel Ebony?" he asked. I would feel a lot better if both of him would stop moving and I told him so. Patch (all three of him) turned to someone near him and told them to take me to the hospital. I felt arms go underneath me and Jay appear above me. As he lifted me I saw the Mallrats standing around and then I was tucked into his arms like a child and he carried me to the hospital, where I was placed on a bed and I immediately fell into an exhausted sleep.  
  
When I woke Patch was stood next to my hospital bed, his back to me, reading something. My entire body ached and it hurt to turn my neck to talk to him.  
  
"How long have I been out?" I groaned  
  
He turned putting down whatever he was reading and began lifting my eyelids and shining a torch in my eyes as he told me "Most of the day. How do you feel?" he asked  
  
"How do you think?" I spat at him "Like I've been walked over by a herd of elephants"  
  
"You don't have concussion," he said more to his book than me  
  
"Does that mean I can get up?" I demanded  
  
"Yes" he said "As long as you take it easy"  
  
"As if I could do anything else," I muttered swinging my aching body around to get off the bed and hobbling off to the café. It hurt a lot to climb the steps and on my slow way up I noticed all the grids on the entrances were down and there was a lot of noise coming from the café. When I got into the café most of the Mallrats were in there arguing, I slid into a seat opposite Siva and Lex groaning at the aches in my body.  
  
"She creamed you then?" Lex said half laughing.  
  
I shot him a poisonous glance then ignored him. "What's going on?" I asked Siva indicating the Mallrats.  
  
She winced "Your not gonna like this" she said "Tai-san, Jack and Ellie took Java to the hotel, then Jack and Ellie then went to the old farm while Tai-san rejoined the Technos"  
  
It didn't sound that bad, I couldn't see why she was so worried about telling me what had happened  
  
"And." I said prompting her, trying to get to the bad part.  
  
She gulped "Java got free, killed Mega and has taken over the Technos" she said in a rush. I could see why she was nervous about telling me that news, I was in sh!t, Java was gonna be out for my blood, I swore  
  
"Language" Lex said tutting under his breath  
  
"Shut up Lex" I snapped at him, he just smirked and slipped his hand around Siva's waist  
  
"I'm off to my room," I told Siva I really couldn't think or worry about Java in the state I was in. Getting up I saw Jay over the other side of the room having a conversation with Pride, he glanced at me and our eyes met but I pulled away and went to my room where I fell into the sleep of the exhausted. 


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24  
  
When I woke I was lying in a strange dark room, I felt exhausted and drained, I blinked and turned my head trying to work out where I was and how I had got there.  
  
All I could remember were flashes of memory, like photographs instead of a continuous film.  
  
Voices shouting through a crowd of frightened people;  
  
"It- it's blood!" that was a shocked female  
  
"Ebony." a male voice breaking down into sobs  
  
"Bind it, we need to bind it," a commanding female voice.  
  
After that there was the sensation of being carried, what I remembered after that was the room I was lying in, but in different lights and with different people sat next to me, like stills taken at intervals from a film. I also remembered a voice telling me to sleep and several lines of a conversation:  
  
A female voice in tears asking "Why would she do that to herself?" answered by a heavy pain filled male voice  
  
"I don't know"  
  
None of it really made much sense.  
  
I looked around the room I was laid in, it looked like one of the mall's old store rooms, shelves and boxes were scattered about but pushed against the walls to make room for the bed I was lying on. Turning my head I saw Jay was lying asleep on the edge of my bed.  
  
I reached out to stroke his hair but my arms were heavy. Lifting them so I could see what was making them so heavy I saw in horror that my wrists were swathed in thick bandages. I touched one of the bandages nervously and then began to gently pull on it to see what they hid.  
  
"No Ebony, you can't" Jay's voice told me. I turned and saw he was awake and watching me, his hair was a mess and his war paint smudged. As if to explain he said in a slightly calmer voice "Patch said we couldn't move them yet"  
  
"What happened?" I asked still totally confused as to what was going on  
  
He got angry at my question "What happened? What happened?" he yelled at me standing up. Then he calmed down and sat down close to me and pointed at my wrists whispering horsley to me "That happened Ebony" He reached out and held my hand, staring into my eyes "Why Ebony, Why?" he whispered tenderly stroking my hair as I struggled to answer questions that confused my already bewildered mind even more.  
  
But I never got chance to answer as Patch, obviously hearing Jay's shouts, came in and pulled Jay away saying quietly too him "Let her rest, this isn't the time. There'll be plenty of time to talk later" He led Jay to the door but just as he was about to go out Jay turned and whispered plaintively in a voice which cut straight to my heart  
  
"Why?" and then he was gone.  
  
After about a minute Allyn came into my room and sat beside me, I moved my mouth trying to come up with a question to ask but she stoked my forehead and told me  
  
"Rest now, there's time to talk later" and gradually I drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25  
  
When I woke I felt much better, less tired and drained, Allyn was sat by my bed  
  
"Feel better?" she asked when she saw I was awake; I nodded and pulled myself up so I was sitting instead of lying.  
  
"What happened to me?" I asked her needing answers as to why I was laying in that bed feeling awful and why I couldn't remember what had happened.  
  
She looked at me tenderly and then told me "You have to face it" and lent over unwrapping the bandages around my wrists, which I noticed were smaller than they had been last time I had seen them. When she had unwrapped them she turned my wrist over so I could see the two neat cut marks across my wrists that were beginning to heal.  
  
"You slashed you wrists Ebony" Allyn said firmly staring at me with her startling eyes.  
  
I could only stare at my wrists and the marks across them; surely I hadn't done that to myself? Why would I do that to myself? Then out of my mind came a memory, an image and a voice,  
  
One hand holding my hands in place whilst another drew a knife across my wrists and a sinister voice telling me  
  
"I will show you"  
  
Zoot had done it, Zoot had cut my wrists. That realization was like a key to the door of my memory which I had locked myself in horror at that night, but now I remembered, I remembered what he had done to me, the thing which made me sick and feel dirtier than ever and how he had slit my wrists afterwards promising to show me what true power was.  
  
"You have to face it, you tried to kill yourself," Allyn told me tenderly obviously trying to make me face up to what she thought I had done, but I hadn't done it. I hadn't tried to kill myself, neither had Zoot, he had just been playing with me and my life, playing.  
  
Even though I knew she would not believe me it sill seemed important to tell her the truth, or part of it, the Mallrats had to know I didn't do it.  
  
"I didn't do it," I said firmly. She sighed, but not in an exasperated way, in a sorrowful and regretful way.  
  
"Ebony show me your arms" she said, it was more of a command than I request so slowly I rolled up my sleeves and I was surprised to see she did the same.  
  
"Do you think you're the only one" she asked a tinge of sadness in her voice as she held her arm out next to mine so I could see the many scars that crossed her arms like the two fresh marks that cut across mine. I looked at her in horror and she stared back pain and sadness to the depths of her soul .  
  
"I've been there Ebony," she told me sadly "You feel you're worthless and useless and dirty, you hate yourself more than anything in the world. But your worth more than that, don't do that to yourself" Somehow I felt better inside myself knowing that someone else had been there, someone else understood how I felt, maybe it wasn't for the same reasons, but they had been there, they had felt the same pain.  
  
"Oh my God" I whispered breaking her gaze to look at my arms and remembering the trickles of blood running down them but now I saw them for what they truly were, not release, but something bad, something I should never do to myself. Maybe if I had been alone I would hate myself more for what I had done but there, with Allyn's understanding gaze on me I didn't. I had done something wrong, something terribly misguided but I knew now, I understood and I was sorry.  
  
Allyn was still staring at me understandingly  
  
"You should never try to take your life, life is a precious gift to treasure" she told me tenderly but this time she could not understand, Zoot had done this, not me and in that instant the walls of coldness and protection I had let drop were rebuilt and the understanding between us was severed.  
  
"I didn't do it" I told her again, she couldn't understand this, no one could.  
  
"You have to admit it to yourself, and you have to admit why" she told me tenderly trying to make me understand but her words bounced off me and she saw she was not getting through to me. Eventually she got up regretfully and left the room but as she got to the door she turned and gave me one last look of sadness but I turned away, she could not understand, no one could. 


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26 - Jay  
  
The Mallrats gathered in the café quietly and somberly, we all knew why we were there and we didn't like it one bit.  
  
Most of the tribe had been there when Dee found her lying in the pool of blood; everyone had some blood on their clothes or shoes from that night. But what no one could understand was why, why Ebony, the strongest, or so we thought, member of the tribe should try to take her own life.  
  
That was what cut me up most, the fact that I didn't know why, I couldn't be there for her and help her face the why. I didn't know whether it was something I had done, something I could protect her from or help her with. Why. The ultimate question. I hadn't slept much in the few days since we found her, when I did I was always haunted by the mage of her lying lifeless in that endless pool.  
  
Allyn started the meeting, asking if anyone had noticed anything strange about Ebony recntly.  
  
Everyone had something to say, Salene had noticed she wasn't eating, not turning up for the first two meals of the day and barely touching her dinner, I knew she went to the beach every morning and various people had noticed her wandering about the mall at night.  
  
But it was Patch and Allyn who had the worst news. Patch told us how when he was tending to the injuries Java had given her he had noticed she was covered in bruises, old and new, apparently she was plastered in them, he didn't know where they had come from and noone vcould work that one out. But Allyn had even more shocking news, Ebony had been cutting herself, recently, Allyn had seen the marks.  
  
Somehow that was even more terrible than everything else, the fact it had been going on for a while and we had not noticed. In some ways I could see why we had not noticed, Ebony had obviously been concealing whatever was going on from us and she had done it well, when people said she was a queen of deceit they weren't wrong, she was an insomniac, a recluse, eating like she was anorexic and cutting herself, and yet we did not notice, did not see the pain going through her mind.  
  
We felt guilty and powerless to help, even those who did not like Ebony felt bad for her but we could not help. We still did not know what was going on in her tortured mind, with all the evidence we still didn't understand why, we still couldn't help her, we could only watch her, prevent her from doing herself further harm until she decided to open up to someone.  
  
It ripped me apart that we could nothing to help her, that I could not help her, that I couldn't just take her in my arms and protect her from the world forever. I wasn't even sure how she felt about me, one minute she seemed to hate me but the next I thought maybe she returned my crazy feelings for her.  
  
And they were crazy feelings. I had always thought I liked nice girls like Grace, and I had to admit it, Amber, girls who wanted a better world, who shared my outlook on life. But Ebony was different, always slightly darker, and slightly more unpredictable. I just couldn't repress my feelings I saw we were so similar in the way we spoke and dealt with people, hitting low and direct and keeping our cool at all times.  
  
And yet Ebony had an outlook on life that meant she thought she needed to get as much power and protection for herself so she would not get hurt. I always wondered where that came from, what had perverted her innocence? her outer selfish power needy exterior always hid her slightly more caring side, the side she did not want you to see, the one she thought was her weakness but was actually her greatest strength, and she was strong, she was as strong as you get.  
  
When I wonder about why I loved Ebony, before I wonder what attracts us to anyone, I always wonder whether it was because I wanted to readjust the innocence of her misdirected mind, I wanted to show her that the world wasn't always out to get her. But beyond wondering why I loved her I just wanted to hold her in my arms and defend her from the world and know that somewhere in her dark heart she felt the same about me.  
  
At the end of the meeting I asked Patch if I could go and see her and he agreed after warning me not to upset her. 


	27. CHapter 27

Chapter 27 - Ebony  
  
I had been dozing fitfully propped up on pillows for several hours while Sammy and Mouse watched me, I knew they were watching me, they thought I might try it again, it was frustrating for me because I knew I wasn't going to try it again, I just wanted some peace. Staying alive and sane had become my best form of resistance against Zoot, I would show him he could not destroy me, Allyn had helped show me what he had been doing to me and I wouldn't let him win, I wasn't down for the count yet. I had dozed a lot in the day I had been awake, Patch had said I needed rest, something about red blood cells, science never was my thing. As I dozed I didn't hear someone send Sammy and Mouse away and then come and sit quietly by me.  
  
When I stirred and blinked blearily I saw an out of focus figure sat by my bedside. I opened my eyes wider bringing them into focus. Deep dark brown eyes stared back at me caringly and without looking further I knew exactly who this person was by his gorgeous eyes.  
  
As soon as I realized who it was I began to try to sort myself out, pulling at clothing, sweeping my hair back then trying to sit up properly. Seeing me struggle with my pillows as I tried to sit up, like a perfect gentleman, Jay got up and leant over me helping me sort out my pillows, but all I could think of was the proximity of his body to mine, sometimes pressing on me as he fussed with the pillows.  
  
When he saw I was comfortable he moved back but as he moved back his face passed inches in front of mine and for a few seconds we stayed suspended like that both realizing exactly how close we were, our eyes locked and our mouths so close I could feel his warm soft breath tickle across my lips. I held my breath, emotions charging through me for that eternal second, he broke away almost as soon as we caught each other's eyes but it seemed much longer than that.  
  
He went to sit in his chair, but now the air was electrically charged with feelings. After a few seconds unbearable silence he spoke, needing to disperse the tension in the room.  
  
"So how are you doing?" he asked nervously  
  
"Fine, couldn't be better" I spat out sarcastically, I wanted to be nice, but honestly! I was lying in bed after having my wrists slit, there could not be a more stupid question than 'How are you doing?' and from the sheepish look on his face after my retort I guess he realized that.  
  
"Everyone's been worried about you," he said trying to calm me and make conversation  
  
"Really" I said sarcastically, most of the Mallrats wouldn't care if I disappeared off the face of the earth, in fact they were liable to throw a party and I knew it.  
  
"I-we didn't realize things were so bad" he told me looking at me sadly  
  
I turned my head away not wanting to talk about it. I felt the mattress dip as he moved to sit next to me on the edge of the bed.  
  
"We want to help you," he told me quietly  
  
Without turning to look at him I said in disbelief "We", the Mallrats couldn't care less about me.  
  
"I want to help you," he told me tenderly. Intrigued by those words I turned and came face to face with him, I hadn't realized he was so close, not that I was complaining.  
  
"Really?" I whispered, my voice almost in audibly quiet, my breath stolen by his eyes that had locked with mine.  
  
"Really" he whispered back, our faces inching together until we were millimeters apart. Slowly he moved his lips closer to mine inclining his head slightly and then our lips touched. He kissed me softly and gently and I responded with the same tenderness, gradually more of our mouths becoming involved in the kiss as it went on seemingly forever but still retaining its first tenderness and gentleness.  
  
Gently Jay broke away to breathe and as I refilled my lungs I realized how close we had become during the kiss and how at some point our hands had become entwined. Jay pulled one of his hands away and reached into his pocket to pull out an object, which he handed to me. I moved way from him slightly to examine the delicate chain.  
  
"Yours?" he asked  
  
I nodded and then asked him where he had found it as I slipped it onto my wrist.  
  
"Just outside my room" he told me. I suddenly realized where I must have lost it, there was only one time recently I had been outside Jay's room,  
  
"Thank you" I told him  
  
"Will you let me help you now?" he asked edging forwards so we were close again, damn we were back on that again; I pulled away from him sinking back onto my pillows and turning away from him  
  
"I didn't do it," I told him my voice dispassionate  
  
"Well who did then?" he snapped. It was ironic in a way that he didn't know how close to the truth he was, how much I wanted to tell him exactly who had done it.  
  
"Ebony..." he said reaching out to stroke my shoulder in an attempt to pacify me but I jerked away sullenly, I didn't want to but Zoot was always there driving a wedge between us.  
  
"Please talk to someone" he begged beginning to get upset "Please Ebony, I- I love you, please just talk to someone" he begged getting up off the bed. A single tear fell out of my eye as I sat there trying to let him and his pleas and his words that I had waited to hear for so long wash over me but I couldn't take it any longer and I turned declaring  
  
"I love you" but he had gone, the room was empty I was alone again and only the empty room heard my desperate plea. 


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28  
  
Over the next few days I was watched constantly by various members of the tribe. Several members of the tribe including Salene, Siva and Allyn came to talk to me trying to bring up the subject of my bruises, cutting myself and the fact I had tried to kill myself, all trying to find out why, but I would not tell them, as soon as they brought up the subject I gave them the same sullen treatment as Jay and they soon became frustrated and gave up. The day after I woke Patch let me get up and walk around the room for a bit, I felt tired but the day afterwards I left the room and didn't feel nearly as tired afterwards, I was glad to be getting better.  
  
When I woke later that night Patch was asleep on the chair just outside my room. I was full of energy and I needed to get away from that room and the constant gaze of the Mallrats. I slipped quietly out of my bed then padded past Patch silently down the corridor out of the room. I wasn't sure exactly where I was going, I had the feeling I might end up on the roof, but for a while I just wanted to wander about the silent mall, I made my way into the entrance and sat on the silent fountain absorbing the silence and peacefulness after the stress of being watched constantly for several days.  
  
After I had been sitting there for a few minutes a sudden sound echoed around the silent mall amplified by the deathly quiet. At first I could not pinpoint its source but soon it was followed by another and another in a seemingly endless stream of sounds, I realized they were footsteps were coming from behind me, someone was coming into the mall.  
  
As I turned to face the entrance I realized the grids were up. From my conversations with the Mallrats over the last few days I had discovered that Java had launched a campaign against 'Rams murderers', which meant it was not safe for the Mallrats to leave the mall, the grids should be down, Siva had specifically said the grids were down. So why were they up? Who had opened them?  
  
And then more worryingly I heard the person advance past the alarm sensors and yet the mall stayed silent. Why were the alarms off?  
  
And then the person rounded the corner and I saw who it was. The demon who filled all my nightmares. As he walked towards me I backed away from him around the fountain holding out a hand as if to ward off an evil sprit.  
  
"Keep away from me" I told him my voice shaking slightly with fear but he ignored me and kept walking towards me pleading with me as if he cared as he walked  
  
"But Ebony my love, the time to leave has come, the time to reunite is here" he said  
  
What was the maniac on about now? Time to leave? Time to reunite? He was truly off his rocker if he thought I was going anywhere with him.  
  
"Keep your hands off me," I warned him as I hit the stairs and ran out of space to back away but he just kept coming towards me. I held out my arms and screamed at him  
  
"Haven't you done enough" as if that would defend me from him in some way.  
  
"But my queen." he hissed at me as he reached out and grabbed my arm.  
  
Suddenly someone launched themselves out of a shadowy doorway towards Zoot. Seeing the on coming figure Zoot turned to face them head on flinging me across the floor. As I slid across the floor I missed the brief scuffle between Zoot and his attacker. When I came to a stop and lifted my head I say Zoot standing over his prone attacker. The first thing I noticed about the attacker was he had blonde hair.  
  
Jay?  
  
No it wasn't Jay I realized after a longer look, it was Patch. I ran over to where he was lying, ignoring Zoot, and knelt down next to him shaking his shoulders and calling his name to try and wake him. I couldn't believe he had actually got the nerve together to attack anyone. Let alone Zoot, he had risked himself for me and now he was lying lifeless on the floor.  
  
Zoot laughed above me  
  
"He'll wake up.sometime," he told me maliciously then he bent down next to me and whispered in my ear "I will kill all of these rats to make you go with me. All of them!"  
  
I felt my body stiffen in horror at his words. He would kill the Mallrats? All of them? To make me go with him? Including Jay and Siva?  
  
After a slight pause to let me think he whispered "Yes, I will kill Jay, slowly, in front of you" My breath caught in my throat, I didn't doubt him in the slightest, he would do it, he would kill them all in front of me to get what he wanted and he would enjoy it. He would kill Jay, slowly. God, he would even kill Mouse, an innocent six-year-old girl, he would kill her. And the only thing that would stop him was me going with him.  
  
I don't usually go in for self-sacrifice, but it wasn't just people getting put down or loosing power anymore, it was people dying for me, people I actually cared about, an innocent young girl. Dying. For me. And Jay, screaming in pain and then going silent, deadly silent. It was too much. I stood up turning to face him.  
  
"Fine" I whispered in defeat dropping my head  
  
"You made a wise choice my queen," he hissed and hearing his voice I shuddered. What had I let myself in for? What had I done to myself?  
  
And yet the other option of seeing Jay die seemed a lot worse, of seeing Siva and Mouse die, that would be worse than death, worse than anything Zoot could do to me, I hoped.  
  
As Zoot began to pull me out of the mall I turned and behind me I saw Mouse stood at the top of the stairs frozen in terror.  
  
"Mouse!" I called in surprise; I knew soon I would be leaving the mall. I had seconds to say anything, to make any apologies and to tell them all anything but somehow in those few brief seconds all that was important to me was to say one thing, one thing I should have said many times but hadn't  
  
"Tell Jay I love him" I called out to the little figure standing forlornly on the stairs and as I was dragged out of sight I hoped she did tell him. 


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29 - Mouse  
  
I stood in fear. Where were mum and Charlie when I needed them? Where was anyone? I was alone totally alone. It was dark and scary and the bad man had taken Ebony away and he might come back for me. Maybe he had seen me, maybe he was coming back for me right there and then.  
  
Patch was still lying on the ground, I ran down to him and tried to wake him up but he would not move. What if he was dead? Everyone would blame me and not like me.  
  
Salene.  
  
Salene would know what to do. Running as fast as I could to Salene's room I climbed onto her bed. Every minute I wasted was another for the bad man to return. Her and Pride were asleep with their arms around each other. I woke them.  
  
"Wha? Wah? Mouse?" Salene groaned  
  
"Salene, Salene, the bad man came and took Ebony away and I think he killed Patch and he saw me an' he's gonna hurt me" I told her quickly pulling on her arm to try and get her out of bed  
  
She got out of the bed asking "Where?"  
  
"At the fountain" I told her trying to get her to hurry, but she stopped to tell Pride  
  
"Wake the others"  
  
I tugged on her hand again urging her to hurry up, this time she followed and soon we were running to the fountain. As soon as we reached the fountain she rushed over to Patch.  
  
"Patch? Patch?" she called as she bent over him  
  
"Is he gonna be okay?" I asked standing behind her  
  
She turned around and told me "He's alive"  
  
Then she took me to sit next to the fountain and made me tell her the whole story. I had just begun to tell her what Ebony had called out to me when the rest of the tribe came pouring in. They stood around, talking loudly, standing too close to me, and asking me questions which I couldn't hear. I tried to hide behind Salene but she didn't protect me from them and I stared crying, I'm not a crybaby but they were so loud and I was so confused.  
  
Finally Salene shouted at the Mallrats and they were quiet. Then as I hid behind her she told them what I had told her.  
  
When she had told them Jay rushed forward looking scary.  
  
"Who took Ebony?" he yelled as I hid behind Salene, scared by his loud voice. Pride came forward and grabbed him.  
  
"Jay, calm down" he said "You're scaring Mouse." Before Jay could answer Patch began to move, suddenly sitting up.  
  
"Where's Ebony?" he asked "Where is he? Where'd he go?" he said sounding scared  
  
"Who?" asked Amber  
  
"Zoot" Patch said still looking really scared.  
  
"Zoot?" said Lex "He's dead!"  
  
"No, no, he was here and he was talking to Ebony, and she was scared of him, and she didn't want to go with him, and then I tried to help her, and he thought he had knocked me out but I heard, him threatening to kill us all if she didn't go with him, so she let him take her away with him" Patch babbled out sounding confused.  
  
"Come on guys, you don't actually think it was Zoot do you?" Lex said disbelievingly looking at the Mallrats "He's dead, its just someone wanna be dressed up" he told them  
  
"No, Ebony would know Zoot, some fool dressed up wouldn't scare her" Bray said sadly  
  
"Yeh" said Amber. I had no idea who Zoot was but by what they said I thought it was the bad man and he was really really bad and scary.  
  
As everyone talked, I saw Jay sit on the steps. I had to tell him what Ebony had said. He looked really sad, maybe it would make him happy. I walked up to where he was sitting and said  
  
"Jay?"  
  
"Yeh Mouse" he said taking his head out of his hands  
  
"Um, Ebony said I had to tell you"  
  
"Tell me what?" he asked looking interested  
  
"She said to tell you that she loves you," I told him. He looked at me really sadly and then disappeared up the stairsAs I stood there unsure of what to do next Salene came up behind me  
  
"Do you want to go back to bed?" she asked "I'll stay with you till you go to sleep," she said  
  
"Yeh" I said her taking her hand. 


	30. Chapter 30

AUTHORS NOTE: Thank you to everyone that's reveiwed this story, your comments mean a lot to me and its fantastic to know this story is appreiciated. I'm sorry I'm updating sporadically buit I have no computer at the moment, I'm currently on one in a library! Therefore I am uploading the remaining chapters, I hope you enjoy them.  
  
Chapter 30 - Lex  
  
I really didn't get what all the fuss was about, this was Ebony. She never changed her loyalties; she was in it for herself.  
  
As I watched jay storm off up the stairs away from mouse I didn't see Siva slip away into one of the tiny side doors. When I turned and saw she was gone I had to sigh, not another one? I know they were sisters but they had never exactly been the ideal of sisterly harmony. I really wasn't sure whether me and the other Mallrats were thinking of the same ebony because e the one I was thinking of was a scheming malicious bi!ch who was not worth getting your knickers in a twist over.  
  
I pushed through the small crowd of Mallrats to the open side door I presumed Siva must have gone into.  
  
"Siva" I called into the strange silence that greeted me after the sound in the entrance, only eerie silence returned my call. It looked like I was going to have to do this the hard way; I began opening doors along the corridor and checking in them. A few door down I found her standing in a small room facing away from the door.  
  
I walked up to her and slipped my arms around her waist kissing her ear as I did so.  
  
"She's not worth it" I told her "she'll cut a deal with whoever's pretending to be Zoot and come out best as always, you know ebony"  
  
She shrugged me away and turned round  
  
"What makes you think my problem is ebony?" she snapped  
  
"Well what else is it gonna be?" I asked sarcastically  
  
Honestly, women, I couldn't live without them but I could defiantly do without the unexplainable attitude and the winging a lot of the time  
  
"Well, let me see, there's the whole insane dead man rising thing" she said tightly  
  
I moved forwards and put my arms around her "aw, don't worry you pretty little head" I told her "I'll protect you, anyway you weren't here when Zoot was, you don't need to worry"  
  
She pushed me away "That shows how little you know" she snapped "and don't patronize me, this isn't about me needing protection from you"  
  
What was she on about? The female mind, a world unto itself  
  
"What is it about then?" I snapped back at her begging to loose my cool  
  
"It's about me and java being in the locos" she snapped back at me before hanging her head  
  
I hadn't been expecting that one. But she looked so forlorn I went up to her and hugged her tenderly  
  
"I wont let him near you" I promised sincerely, just let him try it "anyway, its probably not the real Zoot" I told her trying to reassure her  
  
"Yeh?" said Siva sounding unconvinced  
  
"Yeh" I said confidently holding her "its gonna be ok"  
  
Amber  
  
Bray had finally calmed down about Zoot and gone to sleep when I decided I need a drink and a little bit of space, after everything that happened that night I think I was entitled to it.  
  
As I meandered through the mall I went past the stairs to the roof and I heard noises echoing eerily down into the mall from them. Already nervous and on edge I jumped and reached for a piece of iron pipe lying nearby. I waited for a minute then not hearing the noises get any closer I began to creep up the steps cautiously. As I neared the roof the sounds got closer. Crouched behind the wall around the steps I could see the night sky stretching endlessly above me but not who or whatever was making those noises. As I pressed myself against the wall and held the pipe up defensively I suddenly saw a stone skit across the end of the stairs just above me.  
  
Did whoever it was know I was there? Was that a warning?  
  
Swallowing my nerve I convinced my legs to carry on anyway, if it was an intruder who already knew of my presence going back not knowing who they were would be worse.  
  
I reached the last steps crouched low behind the wall as another stone passed in front of me. Gulping I leapt out of hiding lifting my pipe high above a figure I saw as I leapt. I juddered to a halt as I hit the ground and I realized my weapon had been stopped mid flight by a hand and following the hand down to its source I jumped back in surprise at the same time as the other person  
  
"Jay!"  
  
"Amber!"  
  
I dropped the pipe guiltily letting it roll away without hindrance. It was just Jay, not some invading force of Locos. I had to giggle slightly seeing the funny side of the situation  
  
"You ok?" I asked  
  
"Yeh" he said  
  
I giggled again.  
  
"Sorry about that" I told him "I thought you were Locos"  
  
"Same for you" he told me grinning and sitting down on one of the many boxes that littered the roof looking slightly out of place because the box was slightly too small for him and his long lanky legs.  
  
"How's Bray taking it?" he asked interrupting my thoughts as I stared across the deserted rooftops of the city.  
  
"He's a bit upset," I said "You manage to adjust to your brother being dead and then he's not, its kinda unnerving for him" He nodded understandingly then asked  
  
"So you two ok?"  
  
I was surprised by his question; I didn't think many people knew about the massive argument that followed Ebony's comments. Of course it hadn't surprised me to find out Ebony's bi!chiness was behind Bray finding out about what had happened between Jay and me. Not that I should think badly of her at that time of course, from what we worked out Ebony had been through he1l and back recently. The thought of what you would have to do to make Ebony cut herself was unnerving and sent shivers down my spine, Ebony had a mind of steel, it would take a lot to make her feel that bad.  
  
We now acknowledged him to be the true Zoot, as Bray had said, Ebony wouldn't be fooled by an imitation and now Ebony was at his mercy, for once I actually felt sorry for her and I presumed that was the reason why Jay was on the roof on his own.  
  
"Yeh, we made up" I told him and then asked "What are you doing up here on your own?"  
  
"Thinking" he said  
  
"About her?" I asked  
  
"Yeh" he said "Did you know she told me about Zoot just after the hotel" he asked staring out across the rooftops "I thought it was coz she bumped her head" he said and then he added sadly "I wasn't there for her when she most needed me" his head dropped into his hands despairingly as I touched his hand comfortingly  
  
"We'll get her back," I said praying it was true  
  
"Well until then she's in the hands of some insane freak" he said suddenly angry getting up to send a stone scudding across the rooftop where it hit a pile of metal cans with a resounding thunk.  
  
"Hadn't you better be getting back to Bray?" he asked not looking at me  
  
"Yeh" I said, "Sure you'll be ok?" I asked  
  
"Its not me you should be worried about" he said ominously. That had a kind of finality to it so I hurried of the dark rooftop leaving him regretfully. 


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31- No POV  
  
"Welcome kids of the city. We have great news. Power and chaos has returned to us," declared the queen of the Technos on the screen. Except, the Mallrats noticed, she was no longer dressed as the queen of the Technos, instead Java was dressed in tight revealing black leather with no Techno mark on her forehead.  
  
As she stepped out of the camera someone else stepped into view, someone with a red streaked face and hypnotically pale eyes.  
  
"Bray.?" whispered Amber questioningly not taking her eyes from the screen in shock  
  
"Its him" Bray whispered sounding haunted  
  
On screen Zoot's mouth twisted strangely, a gesture of victory and superiority, as if sensing the reaction of his viewers.  
  
"Yes, I have returned to you, I have returned to my chosen city to bring power and chaos as I promised" he declared "With my queen" at this point the camera flashed back to a smiling Java, she had won and she knew it "And the new Locos, I shall rule this city as it should be ruled, in the new ways, in our ways" he ranted at the camera, his voice rising to a crescendo as if he had a crowd cheering him on.  
  
The screen returned to the symbol of the Locos.  
  
"We are so dead," commented Lex  
  
Before anyone had chance to pass further comment the screen suddenly flashed back to life to show Zoot again  
  
"Rats" Zoot said into the camera "I know you can hear this, I have something to show you. Meet me in three days at the place I will tell you of, if you want to get back what you lost" with that short threading message the broadcast ended  
  
"Ebony!" Jay whispered in the silence that followed.  
  
Mouse got up off the chair she had been sat in and wrapped her arms around Salene's legs  
  
"That was him," she shrieked sounding panicked "That was the bad man"  
  
Salene bent down so she was at Mouse's height  
  
"It's ok" she told her "We wont let him hurt you or anyone" she told the little girl "ok?" she asked when Mouse seemed to have calmed down slightly "You and Sammy go and play" Salene told her "We have things to discuss"  
  
When mouse had run off and Salene had stood back so Pride could wrap his arms back around her Salene asked  
  
"What are we going to do?"  
  
"First thing" said Lex "We post guards 24/7"  
  
"Right" said Siva from next to him "Someone let Zoot in to get Ebony and they knew how to operate all our systems and alarms." She put enough emphasis on the 'our' to let everyone know who she meant.  
  
"You think Taisan." said Bray  
  
Just as Siva was about to start a tirade against Taisan Amber stepped in  
  
"We don't know anyway" she said calmingly "But we do need to post guards"  
  
"Are we going to go to this meeting with Zoot then" May put in  
  
"We have to go" Jay said simply a if were already decided "He has Ebony"  
  
"Wait a sec," said Lex "We're walking into a trap here"  
  
Jay moved to stand in front of Lex aggressively  
  
"A trap? Really? A trap d'ya think Lex" he said sarcastically "A trap is Ebony lying in a pool of her own blood and yet not being able to tell us who did that to her." Jay yelled at Lex letting out feelings of fustration he had been bottling up.  
  
After Jay's tirade there was a nervous silence, even Lex didn't know what to say to that.  
  
Suddenly Pride spoke up from behind Salene  
  
"Jay's right" he said "Even after everything we still cant just leave Ebony there"  
  
There was a general nodding and agreement, Lex looked as if he might disagree but for once he just kept quiet.  
  
"Fine we go then," said Amber with a certain finality, the meeting was over.  
  
The three days before the meeting were tense ones, the Mallrats were under constant threat of invasion by Zoot and the Locos. Jay took the whole affair quite badly, in the day time he threw himself into helping Patch prepare the hospital for when they could receive patients again but at night he sneaked out of the mall to look for Ebony, all the Mallrats knew he was doing it, but they couldn't stop him, he hadn't been a Techno general for nothing. 


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32  
  
The day of the meeting dawned stormy and blustery. The first storm of the autumn scudded across the sky propelled by the winds that tugged and danced around a small tribe huddled together as they walked. The storm raced on swirling around the insignificant group unaware and uncaring of their lives and dramas, only noticing them to playfully buffet them and tug at loose clothing and hair.  
  
The group finally reached what seemed to be their final destination, odd, as it seemed, a cliff top coved in long grass being flattered by the wind sweeping across it for a long way to either side of them . The storm clouds paused for a moment intrigued by this tiny group and their choice of destination but their attention was fleeting and soon the clouds went back to playing around each other in the wind that swept them along, the tiny group and their troubles forgotten.  
  
The group in question huddled together nervously in the long grass.  
  
"Where is he?" a dark haired girl with attitude asked impatiently  
  
"He'll be here," a dark haired boy snapped at her  
  
"Look" a vivid red head, said pointing to an old police car making its way across the long grass in silence. This silence seemed to unnerve the group as if they were expecting something else. As the car drew nearer tension showed on the faces of the little tribe who seemed to be dreading the car and its occupants. However several members of the tribe seemed a lot more scared, a girl with her hair in Zulu knots and the boy she was holding hands with, a tall bleached blonde boy, the boy who had spoken before and his partner, a short dark skinned girl.  
  
As the car drew to a halt near the group the back door was kicked open with a sudden noise and violence that shot thought the silence that had settled on the cliff like a bullet.  
  
What looked like a giant rag doll was tossed out of the car and into the long grass where it laid motionless half hidden by the long stalks. The doll was followed by a strangely dressed figure, even going by the standards of the group on the cliff. He was wearing a strange mixture of uniform and leather and painted across his face were great red streaks.  
  
He bent down over the body lying in the grass and pulled a blindfold off visciously ripping the girl's head back at the same time. He threw the blindfold into the wind that joyfully carried it high above the cliff and its tiny figures, far across the sea.  
  
Without the hindrance of the blindfold the girl began to move sitting up in the grass. She was a dark skinned girl with braids that flew freely in the wind, she was dressed in a black Lycra top and black combat trousers which were far too big for her and hung off her unattractivly. But it was when she lifted her head and the veil of braids that had fallen over her face moved that he tribe seemed most shocked. And her face was shocking. It was difficult to see what she might once have been like as her face was bruised to such an extent that it was difficult to see her actual skin color . But her bone structure showed prominently making her look like some kind of strangly colored skull. And yet on top of this horrifying image there were painted three great red claw marks ripped across her face. This horrifying face, her wild mass of braids flying about in the wind and her baggy clothes made her seem almost like some strange half breed of human but there was no aura of fear about her, just sadness and sorrow .  
  
As the tribe and her recognized each other at the same time, sorrow and shock rippled across their faces with an extra tinge of embarrassment on the girl's .  
  
"Ebony.!" whispered the bleached blonde boy in shock echoing the thoughts of the tiny tribe who seemed paralyzed by shock to see the girls' body and sprit broken and disfigured to such an extent.  
  
The girl stared back, she too was deeply shocked, it seemed she ha not expected to see the group .  
  
But the strangely dressed figure had no sympathy for either of the parties  
  
"Shocked?" he asked them mockingly "You see your future selves in a mirror, in time I will break your tribe and brand it with the mark of Zoot as I have done to the one I once called my queen. Then you will know true power and chaos!"  
  
As he had spoken the girl, Ebony, had begun edging away from him in the long grass obviously terrified by him and his words, but seeing her the boy reached out and picked her off the ground by the collar letting her feet dangle. As he held her the dark sky above rumbled and the first spots of the impending storm fell to the ground.  
  
The boy held the girl close to his face as if he were to threaten her but then hissed at her  
  
"Fine! Crawl back to the rats you came from. I have no use for you now." He tossed her on the ground just in front of him where she sprawled . Yet it seemed her sprit wasn't broken yet, defiantly she got back to her feet and shouted at him  
  
"You haven't finished me yet!" over the sound of the rising wind and rain.  
  
"You are finished!" the boy shouted at her "You were weak and I made you strong and now I have made you weak again!" as he spoke he began to raise his hands over his head like some ancient prophet calling on his god. As the storm began to take hold of them, screaming around the group and buffeting them the boy became buoyed by this natural power, he screamed into the wind  
  
"Power and Chaos forever!"  
  
Taking offence at his defiance the storm let out a mighty flash that blinded all present, before they're eyesight recovered a sudden scream cut through the wind. 


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33 - Jay  
  
That was Ebony, I was sure of it. I had heard that voice in my head, in my dreams, for a week, screaming in pain and defiance and begging for mercy from some unseen horrorthat I couldn't protect her from.  
  
Shaking my head and blinking I tried to clear the colors that filled my eyes after the flash, straining to see what that maniac was doing to her now. As my eyes cleared I saw a dark shape laying in the grass where Ebony had been and then a sudden disparate scream of  
  
"Get it off"  
  
I broke out of the dazed group of Mallrats, I didn't care anymore, I had to know what he was doing to Ebony and stop him somehow. As I rushed through the rain she appeared trying to push something off her in horror, then I saw what it was. Zoot's smoking body. Suddenly I realized what must have happened  
  
"Get down!" I yelled at the Mallrats as I dropped into the grass "Lightning!" they seemed to get the idea because after a slight pause they too dropped into the grass and began crawling towards where I was helping Ebony push the grizzly remains off her. By the time she was free her tears were coming freely and as soon as possible I swept her up into my arms cradling her tiny body against me as she vented her sobs on my chest while I kissed her head glad to have her back in my arms again.  
  
After a moment or so the Mallrats appeared in the grass around us. Ebony pulled away slightly rubbing at her eyes but I didn't let her go fully, she wasn't getting away from me again. The tears and the rubbing had smudged the red marks across her face, giving her a giant red smudge in the center of her face.  
  
"We have to get out of here," Pride yelled over the storm when he appeared through the grass on his hands and knees.  
  
"What about that hut we passed?" Amber yelled, referring to the hut we had see a little way back under the cover of the trees.  
  
"Fine, meet there" Pride yelled back turning away in the grass.  
  
It took about 15 minutes to reach the trees, it was slow going, I would have carried Ebony but we had to crawl through the grass so I couldn't. I was quickly realizing she was in a far worse state than we had ever envisaged, probably because we weren't used to Ebony being week, it just wasn't natural. However I had to face up to the fact she was exhausted, weak and disorientated.  
  
When we reached the trees and it was slightly safer to stand up I scoped her small frail body into my arms and she wrapped her arms around my neck gratefully and leaned against me. I was shocked at the difference in her weight since Java had attacked her, she could have been a feather in my arms. As we walked along silently I listened to her gentle breathing and relished the feeling of her body pressed against me, but all too soon it seemed we reached the hut and I was forced to put her down.  
  
All the Mallrats who had come were gathered in the tightly packed hut talking, but even as tightly packed they were from somewhere they produced a tiny space in one corner where Ebony could sit with a bit of space around her.  
  
As I was checking Ebony was comfortable, Salene pulled me aside so Ebony could not hear us  
  
"Jay, we think it would be better if you and Ebony went away for a while" she said quietly "You could go into the woods until she's better and this Zoot business is sorted." She looked at me pleadingly as if she expected me to object but I wasn't going to, it sounded perfect, somewhere alone where I could look after Ebony.  
  
"Fine" I said turning away to push through the Mallrats to where Ebony was sitting and squatting down in front of her.  
  
I looked into her eyes and was shocked at what I saw, before she had always had secret places in her soul she hid away in her eyes but now it was like she had pulled veils across her eyes and behind those veils lurked shadows and pain. Her eyes barely seemed to register, as if she were half lost in a place far away.  
  
"Ebony" I said trying to call her back to the present "What do you think about me and you going to the woods for a while?" I asked her  
  
"Sure" she said mutely and vaguely, as is it didn't really matter, I straightened up and turned away, you could only look at those eyes for so long, after that you either had to turn away or cry for the pain within her.  
  
As the storm raged around us I organized our retreat to the woods, getting directions to an Eco hut we could stay in and organizing food, clothing and things we would need and arranging for someone to bring these things out to us regularly.  
  
Finally the storm stopped and we could step out of the crowded hut into the fresh but slightly chilly woodlands. Saying our goodbyes Ebony and I set out to our hut in the woodlands. 


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34  
  
As we walked that day I discovered just how weak Ebony was, even with the hour or so's rest she had had in the hut she had to lean on me most of the time and we had to stop frequently and I had to carry her several times. That day was the first time she had one of her episodes.  
  
It was drawing near to the end of the day and we were walking in single file following a stream Pride had told me of. I turned to check on her and found she was standing still a little way back along the track looking eerily like some long dead ghost in the half-light of the twilight.  
  
"Ebony?" I said waving my hand in front of her face when I reached her but she didn't respond, just stared ahead unseeing. I tried again with the same luck. As I stood there thinking what to do her expression suddenly changed to one of abject terror  
  
"No!" she whispered "No!" her voice cut to my heart, but much as I stroked her arm and whispered to her she showed no sign of knowing I or this world existed.  
  
I stood there for a few minutes watching her but she did nothing until a single solitary tear rolled down her cheek, I reached to wipe it off gently fustrated beyond belief that I didn't know, that I couldn't see what she saw and rescue her from it. After another minutes silence following the tear she suddenly swayed and began falling away from me. Startled into action I grabbed her and pulled her back to cradle her in my arms. As she lay in my arms she began to show the first signs of life, turning her head and blinking confusedly.  
  
"Jay" she said after a few seconds orientating herself, pushing away from my arms to stand precariously on her own feet "What happened?" she asked raising her hand to her forehead as if she were dizzy or not seeing straight "One minute I was here, and then" she paused slightly "I was there, with him... then I was back here with you"  
  
I wasn't sure what to say, what the right words to reassure her were, first I swept her into a hug and then looked at her "I think you had some kind of weird flashback" I told her gently reaching for the right words to explain.  
  
She turned away from me slightly shuddering as she did so "Am I going mad?" she asked me imploringly.  
  
"No" I reassured her immediately "You're just...upset, you have things you need to deal with" I told her trying to explain to her that I was there for her, that I loved her and I wasn't judging her, I just wanted to help.  
  
"Yeah, things" she said quietly then looking up at me she said "Shouldn't we be getting on?" with a certain fake okayness.  
  
I agreed with her and after a few minutes we came across the hut we had been sent to, entering we found it sparse to say the least, a wood fire, thankfully well stocked, several mismatched chairs, a tiny table and a bed were the total contents of the hut. Noticing a bundle on the bed I walked over and found all the stuff I had asked for.  
  
"Toss for the bed" Ebony said over my shoulder. Neither of us said anything about sharing it even though at one tine we would have done automatically, that was a taboo subject.  
  
"Nah, you have it, I'll take a chair," I told her; she needed a bed far more than me. So exhausted by our long day we settled down to sleep. As I settled the blanket over me on my armchair I heard a voice coming from the bed  
  
"Jay?" it asked  
  
"Yes" I said settling back  
  
"You will be here if I wake up? your not going anywhere are you?" she asked  
  
"I'll be here," I told her. I heard her settle down and then gradually her breathing slowed and the tiny hut sat in silence except the crackle of the fire, which I had lit. 


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35  
  
I didn't know what time it was when I was woken by screams. I sat up panicked not knowing where I was or who was screaming. After a few seconds orientating myself I remembered the events of the last day and the fact that Ebony was sleeping in a bed just behind me.  
  
When I reached the bed I found Ebony turning and muttering in her sleep, I couldn't make out any of the words but I got the general idea that she was scared. I sat down gently beside her putting my hand gently on her forehead, which calmed her tossing immediately.  
  
"Ebony" I called out quietly "Ebony"  
  
Suddenly she sat up straight screaming  
  
"SShhhhhhhhhhhh" I told her pulling her rigid body into my arms and stroking her hair.  
  
"Jay" she sobbed into my arms "He was there"  
  
"Zoot?" I asked stoking her hair calmingly and gently "Where?" I asked curious to know what she saw  
  
"I-In the white room" she sobbed with so much terror and fear in her voice I didn't dare ask anymore for fear of what I might find out.  
  
"Its ok now" I told her trying to calm her down as her sobbing finally slowed "I'm here, it was just a dream, just a dream" I told her. Looking at me she laid back down onto the bed as I stoked her hair back I bent down impulsively and kissed her forehead. Her eyes watched me for a moment and then she closed them and I sat there watching her breathing slow down. When I thought she was deep enough asleep I got up slowly and silently and made my way back to my armchair.  
  
The next morning when I woke the bed was empty, I panicked, where was Ebony? Had someone taken her? Had she run away? Or done something to herself?  
  
Running outside I yelled "Ebony? Ebony?"  
  
As I looked around my heart racing wildly I saw her face appearing around a tree.  
  
"I'm here," she said as if she was surprised I was looking for her.  
  
I sighed in relief, nothing bad had happened to her. She came out from behind the tree and walked up to me. I noticed the bruises on her face had gone down very slightly, probably in a week or so's time they would have gone completely.  
  
When she reached me she slipped her hand into mine  
  
"Were you worried? I only went outside" she said. I could feel her tiny had in mine, it felt so natural and right  
  
"I was just being stupid" I told her slightly apologetically "Lets go inside and get some breakfast" she nodded and we wandered into the hut hand in hand.  
  
The first week continued pretty much the same, I did all the necessary work for us to live in the hut while Ebony spent her time wandering outside or sitting in the trees presumably trying to come to terms with what had happened. Sometimes we would sit together quietly or talk about insignificant things, we never talked about what happened, I wasn't going to push Ebony about it and she obviously didn't want to talk about it so we didn't, I also didn't want to push about us, we both knew how we felt but holding hands or sitting together was enough, I didn't want to rush her and she was in no rush to rekindle our passions so we didn't, for then knowing was all we needed. She continued to have her episodes and nightmares; there was little we could do about them even though they scared us both. The second night when she woke I had got her to lie down and I thought she was sleeping so I got up to leave but her eyes snapped open and she said pleadingly  
  
"Don't leave me, please"  
  
"Ok" I told her settling back down against the wall behind her bed and as she fell asleep I stoked her hair and told her I loved her. I must have fallen asleep there because when we woke in the morning I had my arms around her. We didn't really say much about it. What was there to say? But after that we slept together in the bed.  
  
Ebony I actually remember very little about the day Zoot died, again. Jay told me I looked out of it and I was, all I remember is a jumble of disjointed memories but I think after what I had been through I had a certain right to be out of it.  
  
The first week we were alone in the hut I spent a lot of time alone trying to deal with things and sort out my head. Jay just let me be and for that I was grateful, I didn't want to talk to anyone I just wanted to know someone was there for me. Jay was there, he didn't try to push me to talk or in our relationship, he just sat back and let me do things the way I wanted. My nightmares and episodes were at their worst that week, I had about one everyday but thankfully Jay was there to comfort me and tell me it was going to be ok.  
  
Towards the end of the week Salene came with more food and news, Zoot had been cremated by the Mallrats, this time they had watched him go and without him the new Locos were crumbling, Java didn't have as much control as she would like. In the second week I began to relax more, Zoot was really gone, he wasn't coming back and with out the Mallrats or the city watching me I could relax properly.  
  
It was the second day of the second week when things between Jay and me moved on slightly . We were sat by the stream, Jay was leaning on a tree and I was leaning back on him. He had asked what my sisters were like when they were younger, my account of Siva was reasonably truthful but I was quite nasty about Java.  
  
"What about Ved?" I asked turning to face him  
  
His head lolled back as he laughed before saying "Ved was a complete nerd"  
  
"Ved, a nerd?" I said in disbelief "Jay, your [I]darling[/I] brother even dared to come onto me" I told him  
  
"Good taste runs in the family," he told me with a grin before adding to his earlier statement with "That was before he hit puberty of course"  
  
"And what about you Mr. General" I asked him "Before puberty of course" I said and then as I moved backwards in anticipation of how he was going to react I added cheekily "Coz we all know what you were doing after puberty"  
  
He moved towards me menacingly "I was a nice child, unlike you I suspect" he said as he grabbed me "little miss poison queen"  
  
As I laughed and pretended to try to get away I tried to tease him  
  
"Betya were an award winning scout"  
  
"Yep" he told me holding me closer and tighter so I couldn't get away. Then we were kissing, just kissing, not slowly or passionately or suddenly or softly, kissing like it was the most natural thing in the world. 


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36 - Jay  
  
Watching Ebony that second week was like watching a beautiful butterfly open its wings for the first time. It seemed she had dealt with what had happened as her nightmares and episodes became more infrequent and she relaxed. I began to see a different Ebony, one with no politics or power, no one trying to second guess her, hold grudges against her or stab her in the back. She opened up a care free, playful side of her that I had only glimpsed in passing once or twice before. I'm not saying she became little miss nice and loves animals, God forbid, but I actually heard her laugh a lot, I could count on one hand the number of times I had heard her laugh before.  
  
We spent much of our time talking, finding out about each other or just joking and teasing. Our relationship also moved on but it was not a great step as it had been before, it was just natural progression. Before we had always been rushed, kissing would lead too much more in minutes. But in the hut we were given time to take things slowly and let things progress naturally, so we did.  
  
And as the beginning of the first week dawned it seemed like our relationship was to progress further. It was late in the evening and I was sat in the armchair with Ebony on my knee, leaning against one of the wings with her feet going over the arm of the chair.  
  
"Jay?" she said questioningly after a few minutes peaceful silence.  
  
"Yeh" I replied looking at her  
  
"Do you think ram's still in VR or do you think Zoot killed him?" she asked I was puzzled by her line of questioning but I answered anyway  
  
"I have no idea," I told her leaning forward to kiss her. We paused slightly after the kiss to breathe but not really pulling away from each other and then we came together again, kissing with more passion and lust, I pulled her closer to me as she ran her hands under my jacket and began to push it backwards. I trailed kisses down her neck whilst pushed her coat off and a few seconds later I heard it hit the floor.  
  
We continued that way until we were standing up together, suddenly Ebony froze, I pulled away to ask what was wrong but seeing her eyes staring off into the distance I didn't have to ask.  
  
"No, no... Please" she whispered desperately then after a few seconds began to cry silently. I wiped away her tears as they flowed down her face; suddenly after several minutes' silence she swayed and collapsed into my arms. I pulled her back down onto my knee on the chair I had been sat on.  
  
She began sobbing into my chest but as she did so she gasped out  
  
"Oh God...oh God Jay...he-he" but this was followed with a fresh round of furious sobbing.  
  
"What?" I asked, what had that b@stard done to her?  
  
"He raped me," she sobbed out.  
  
My mind went blank for a minute. He raped her? Oh god, he actually raped her. I didn't know what to say or do. Sensing my hesitation she managed to control her sobbing slightly and looked up at me.  
  
"Do you hate me?" she asked sounding hurt and moving away from me slightly.  
  
"No, no, never" I reassured her shocked that she could think that.  
  
She was silent for a moment staring into space and then she began talking, vaguely, not exactly at me, more to herself but I quickly realized she was telling me what happened.  
  
"The first few times he came, he just talked, scared me. After that he became violent, threatening me, hurting me, kissing me" she shuddered "horrible painful kisses. I couldn't cope, I couldn't get away, I hated myself, I hated him, I went to the beach to forget and I cut myself. It didn't work, he always came back. Then after Java he came and he forced me, raped me" silent tears began falling back down her cheeks following the paths of the earlier ones "then he slit my wrists, not to kill me, just to play with me"  
  
My minded blanked in disbelief, he hadn't even been trying to kill her? he had slit her wrists but not intended to kill her? I could have disbelieved her if I could not see her face that told me the truth, he had done it.  
  
"Then he came and forced me to go with him, he put me in this huge room, all white, floors, doors, ceiling, all white, and he and sometimes Java would come in and threaten me and hurt me"  
  
She huddled sobbing in my arms. I couldn't quite take it in and I knew I was only getting half the story, she had not told me the details, just that he had threatened and hurt her, not exactly what he had done, and I wasn't totally sure I wanted to hear. What torture and pain it would take to weaken Ebohny i didnt even want to think about. Eventually she fell asleep exhausted in my arms, I tucked her into the bed gently and then sat in front of the fire processing what I had just lernt. 


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37 - Ebony  
  
Telling Jay everything was like the final test, it was time to accept what happened and move on. And with that realization came the fact that sometime we had to go home, back to the mall. In that third week we carried on as we had been doing and yet there was an underlying desperation to everything we did as we clung to the paradise we had created.  
  
On the fourth day of the third week we sat together under our tree near the stream in the twilight as it began to get cold. We sat there for a few minutes watching the stream flow by. As I watched his face I knew I was finally ready, it was time to let go of everything and just let myself live again as I had not done for so many weeks.  
  
I looked at him for a moment as he looked back at me and then I reached up to kiss him. I let the kiss get deeper as I moved to kneel astride his legs and ran my hands around his neck as he stroked my back. When he seemed about to pull away I began to kiss him more intensely and ran my hands down his chest and began to fiddle with his waistband. Finally he pushed me away gasping for breath.  
  
"You sure about this?" he asked looking at me concerned but with a slight twinkle in his eye of pleasure  
  
"Positive" I told him with a grin "Lets do it out here under the trees" I said pulling him closer so we were very close indeed  
  
"Won't it be a bit cold?" he asked with a slight upturn at the corners of his mouth that told me he was just teasing. I decided to play along; lowering my mouth close to his ear so my lips were brushing it I whispered,  
  
"The idea is for you to keep me warm"  
  
Kissing my neck he told me "You are wicked!" I was about to answer but my lips were caught up in an embrace with his.  
  
Much later on, as we lay in bed together I turned to face him  
  
"Its time to go home isn't it?" I said sadly  
  
"Yeh" he said softly stroking my cheek, "its time to face the music" then he plastered a grin across his face saying "But we still have tonight" as he said it I felt his arms snake around me and pull me in to a kiss and I wasn't about to resist.  
  
In the morning when we had cleared up the hut we stood together outside looking at it, after a while he said  
  
"Come on" and turned me away from our little paradise. I was apprehensive about returning to the city and the mall. I had never really felt truly welcome in the mall and it was one of the places Zoot had been. I guess Jay saw how I was feeling because he didn't try to talk too much that day just held my hand as I felt myself receding behind the wall of the city Ebony.  
  
It was mid-afternoon when we got back to the mall; we walked into the entrance hand in hand.  
  
"Salene? Pride? Siva? Bray?" Jay called into the quiet mall. Various faces appeared around doorways.  
  
"Ebony!" shrieked Siva rushing in and flinging herself on me. I had to laugh slightly as she crushed me with her warm embrace  
  
"Hi" I squeaked out. When she finally let go a small crowd of Mallrats had gathered behind her  
  
"Welcome back Ebony" Salene said "we were worried about you" I was surprised to hear the Mallrats say something about caring for me, at first I didn't know how to answer but then I smiled  
  
"Thanks" I said  
  
I could almost feel the approval radiating off Jay as he said  
  
"Can we dump our stuff?"  
  
As we walked to our room we passed the one I had occupied  
  
"Wait" I told Jay walking into the room.  
  
I was amazed to find it hadn't changed, it was as if I expected it to, Zoot had messed with everything else in my life, why not my room? But everything was still as I had left it, down to the scissors left discarded on my table with the faint hint of blood on them. And there was no Zoot waiting for me as I had half expected, not in the flesh, not in an episode, he was finally gone, truly gone.  
  
I felt arms wrap around me and Jay kissed my head, as i lent back against him I felt like the tattered remains of my past were meeting my future.  
  
"He's gone, really gone," I said close to tears  
  
"Yeh" Jay said as I turned to kiss him and then lead him out of that room, the past was done with; it was time for the future.  
  
A Note from Ebony Ok you people who have nothing better to do then sit around reading about the mess of my life I suppose I better tell you 'what happened next'  
  
No, I did not become a nun or devote my life to helping others. Who do you, take me for? Amber? Ok so maybe I got the tiniest bit nicer, tiniest bit. I wouldn't say life has become perfect either, this is post virus, life being bearable is a luxury, wake up and smell the roses.  
  
So me and Jay are still together, that's great, but I have to face up to the fact that it might not last forever, much as I love him and want it to, in the world we live in anything could happen, but for now we have each other.  
  
As I tell you this I'm actually sat in the cafe leaning on Jay with some of the Mallrats sat around. Right now there is no major threat to our security so we are relaxing slightly, and I have to admit, things have improved between me and the Mallrats, slightly, but don't tell them that, I would never live it down.  
  
So there you are 'what happened next', we defiantly didn't live happily ever after and no our lives didn't end when you stopped reading as so many characters from stories do, I'm still here.  
  
Ebony. 


End file.
